That Summer Night
by Fluorescens
Summary: 15 yrs later, Kagome suddenly woke up in one summer night, and decided to revisit the old shrine well. Ghosts of her memories haunt her, and she jumped into it, not believing that it would bring her back in Time again. [Sess X Kag]
1. Chapter 1

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**Chapter 1: And that how was they met again. **

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Kagome rested her hands lightly on the ledge of the well and stared at the dry, bare mud-lined bottom.

She dimly noted the rough splintered texture of the wood, the scratchy sandy-dust collected under the ridges of her trembling fingers, and her insistent, murmuring heartbeats. The forced silence in her ears was so deafening and _distant _ at the same time that it made her head spun like a pinwheel in a child's hand.

_"What am I doing here?"_ She half-lifted her right hand, and placed it back on the ledge again. She was not sure whether she had wanted to calm her pounding heart, or to cover her face. She had forgotten; but it did not matter.

Kagome bit her lower lip because it was quivering, because she was afraid, because she was anxious and frustrated, because she felt lost and helpless, and because-

"Mou!" She let out a soft desperate cry. She had _no_ idea why she was here; at the well that once transported her back to five hundred years in time, that Inuyasha and herself had once used it as a dimension-portal, that had once forcefully changed her past, present and future.

Tonight was a summer night like many others. The moon was high up, partially covered by some hazy red clouds. She was asleep as usual, on the same bed, in the same room, under the same old blanket that Inuyasha once used too. But something woke her up, as if ice-cold water was slowly drizzled down your back; cold, shocking, shivery and gradual. It was like a tug at her heart, persuading her, urging her, hurrying her, to run to the shrine house.

To the well. The damned well. Kagome squeezed her eyes shut as her blunt nails scraped on the wooden ledge a little. The tug had now become a pail of water splashed all over her head, pounding so hard that it was as if there was another smaller heart within her own one.

Kagome wondered whether the well had a spirit, and if it had, she wondered whether it had a kind heart. The erratic randomness of the well had caused her immense heartache fifteen years ago, when it suddenly stopped working. For reasons that she could never really fathom other than perhaps it had cranky moods, or perhaps she had grown up beyond what the well would accept anymore.

A thousand and one reasons would pass her by, seemingly logical, reasonable, plausible, and she would ponder hard over them. Yet she firmly rejected the one idea Souta had proposed many years ago. She would not believe the well had closed up_ for_ a reason; she could not. Because if she did, then the chances of the well re-opening up were there, and there would be hope, and disappointment, and grief and sickness and death to all possible things living in her body and soul now.

And to attribute that to Fate, "_to such a whimsical thing called Fate_", was naive. And she was no longer that, no matter how much she longed and pined for the once-naivety and innocence, the iron-willed optimism that she had so defiantly carried with her during her adventures in Sengoku Jidai.

Oh, the past glories. Crying and mocking at her now.

Kagome opened her eyes; the dried-out bottom was gaping back at her, like a dead old fish attempting to swallow her up whole if she dared to jump. If she dared; if she dared to revisit her old past, to go back in Time, to see herself young and gullible again, to cut down youkai and nurse sick people, to accept the impossibles determined by normalcy of her era, to bring justice and peace, to defy her own beliefs, to re-open the can of worms buried at the bottom of her heart-

And the tug came back again, along with unknown voices, whispering haunting words by her ear, pleading with her, moaning and sobbing and laughing-

She shakily lifted her right hand, and firmly pressed it against her left breast. Was it the jewel that was responding to the tug? Or was there something else calling out for the jewel? Or was it all just a hallucination?

Kagome smiled bitterly to herself; she had to accept Souta's idea, because if not that would mean she had went mad. To stand in front of an old, abandoned shrine-well in her miko garb, with the old-but-still-useful bow slung on her back, and a quiver with only five arrows that were questionably-sharp. She was thirty, not fifteen. She was no longer that scrawny girl with a bright yellow backpack; she was a woman now, with cynicism that could parallel a fairy-tale storyteller.

And she wanted to believe that she was indeed, mad. That all these; the tug, the memories, the jewel, the well, were all naught but a dream. She could be a ludicrous crazy old woman in her dream, and it would not matter, at all.

_"I'll just have to jump in,"_ she told herself calmly, _"I just need to prove it."_

And so she did.

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Kagome had hoped, and had prepared herself for a hard, bruise-inducing landing. But when she drifted through the familiar timeless tunnel, with the weightlessness of her body, the sheer space and volume of the seemingly never-ending stars-filled dimension overwhelmed her, so much so that she smiled and teared at the same time. But yet she told herself that it was a dream, and that the well would not choose to open up its portal at this weird time because she was no longer the Kagome of before.

The Kagome who once had a pure love for _him_, and was subsequently demolished down, brick by brick when it all ended.

_"If it's a dream, then I'll just need to complete it before I can wake up,"_ the half-smile disappeared and was replaced with a carefully extracted grim as the tears evaporated into the timeless skies. Kagome adjusted the bow on her shoulders and feeling a bit disorientated, looked around when her feet landed softly on the marshy-mud bottom. Unruly vines had grown all over the cobbled-stone walls of the well, but she could still see the thick, worn rope hiding somewhere beneath all those creepers.

She closed her eyes and took in a deep breath. She thought that she had _almost_ forgotten the scent of this era; the clear, clean, wild smells of Mother Nature arraying herself at the end of hot, humid summer days. She nodded to herself, in assurance that everything was alright, everything was a dream, everything was not real and that soon, it would end.

Just like the love between her and him, gradually lost to this thing called Age.

Everything had to end, because there was no such thing called Everlasting. Decay was rampant in her mind and soul.

Half-way up the torturous climb (because there was no one else to give her a helping hand anymore), she saw the moon.

The pale speckled planet was high up, partially covered by some hazy red clouds.

"The moon is the same everywhere," she mumbled to herself, _"Tonight is a summer night just like the rest."_

Three-quarters up the painful climb, the sickening persisting tug finally identified itself in the purest form.

Danger. Overwhelming danger up above her head. Right outside the _cursed _well.

Kagome contemplated for two good seconds, wondering whether she should back off and squat at the bottom of the well and count the number of vines while singing lullabies. And on the third and a half second, she decided that getting herself killed, head-on was the fastest way to end this dream.

_"It's a dream,"_ she repeated to herself and climbed harder, faster while she panted and inwardly cursed at her disobedient muscles.

When her fingers finally managed to grip onto the same-yet-not-same wooden ledge, she heard soft angry growls. They sounded animalistic, brutal and bone-crunching. Kagome shook her head a little, to dispel the notions that it might be real and heaved herself over the well.

_"Yes, get killed. Game over. KO."_

But all thoughts flew out of her head as a man turned around in shock to look at her.

That was how she found him.

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And that was how he found her.

Standing there silently, with her lips half-parted and her deep brown eyes searching his face. There were glistening beads of perspiration on her forehead, her long hair was pulled back messily into a ponytail, and one of her feet had not even touched the ground as she half-sat and half-crouched on the mouth of the Bone Eater's Well.

If it was not for the miko attire, he would not have been able to recognize her.

The moon was behind her head, and from his point of view, it was as if the cold moon was framing her face along with some sparse rainy-looking clouds. He thought it was rather comical for their first meeting after so many years; he sitting on the damp grassfield, surrounded by a pack of wild, hungry, low-class ookami-youkai, with a useless Tenseiga in his right hand and she preparing to get out, with a dazed expression on her young yet old face while she steadied the long bow on her shoulder.

But now was not an appropriate time to celebrate, nor did he want to. He was never such a person. She was just a human, nevertheless one to witness the death of the Great Taiyoukai of the West. The first born of Inu no Taisho, the legendary cold, ruthless killer who eventually eliminated Naraku, the scum of the earth, and his only hanyou brother, the scum of his line.

Sesshoumaru turned back to his attackers, and revealed a half-crazed smile as he struggled to stand to his feet by jabbing Tenseiga into the ground.

"Come!"

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Tonight was a summer night like many others, not.

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Kagome frowned a little, a headache was fast coming up and she stared at the man's clothing while he tried to support himself with his sword.

It was the exact same one as what Sesshoumaru had once worn. The sword looked very familiar too, the hilt that was. But the man limping before her was not youkai at all.

He had long, dark brown hair, there was no crescent moon on his forehead, no stripes adorning his cheeks, and she could not sense any youki around him at all. But if he was not Sesshoumaru, why was he wearing his clothes? And if he was indeed Sesshoumaru, was this a very bad, weird dream then?

She had no time to think further, because the wolves gave a synchronized howl and lunged for the poor man.

And with ease and agility that she did not think she still had, an arrow had struck itself on one of the wolf's head. Without another word, she swiftly pulled out another arrow from the quiver that Kaede had given her and took aim at the second wolf who was now growling loudly but not making any further advances.

After an intense staring battle between the miko and the second beastly youkai for a full minute, the wolves whimpered and ran away.

Oh, the present glories! Embracing her full-faced, along with dancing of the summer daffodils and daisies!

Kagome smirked to herself and took a step forward when the man abruptly turned around and fixed her with a very familiar, icy stare.

"Why did you save me?"

She was genuinely shocked at his words and sharp, harsh voice. It reminded her of Inuyasha, those angry eyes and lips.

"I... You couldn't fight! You're limping! What did you expect me to do? Watch you die!" She retorted angrily, and the notion that this might not be a dream noiselessly slid into a corner of her brain.

The man frowned hard at her but did not say more. He wanted to die honourably, he wanted to fight, to kill, and to pass away in peace. He had had enough time on this world, and he wanted to go into the next one. The regrets of his past weighed down on him like lead and the shame of his present self, the human body, burnt and ate away at his self-esteem and pride.

Sesshoumaru turned away from her, fully intending to walk away, to search for another way to leave this outer shell of his.

As if in slow motion, Kagome saw his tall back swayed a little, and promptly fell onto the grassfield face-on with a soft, grassy thud.

In the uninterrupted silence of the summer night, with a sudden night breeze that caressed her face, Kagome knew that this was not a dream. And that the man, whoever he was, needed her help before he really died. As she slowly walked towards him, she could feel the grass brushing past her cotton hakamas, she could smell the metallic scent of blood in the moisture-laden air, and the dawning facts slowly sinking into her mind the way she would drown in quicksand.

And when she knelt down beside him, the only intruders she had were the cicadas, crickets, grasshoppers and earthworms which quickly scrambled away from her towering gigantic feet. Kagome gently turned the man over, and the first thing she noticed was his long eyelashes covering his half-closed eyes. His facial features were delicate, a little feminine, and there were minor scratches on his cheekbones, his nose, his chin and his thin, bluish lips.

Kagome swallowed. It could not be. There was even a very, very faint mark on his forehead under the silver wisps of moonlight.

The silence in her ears had turned into a buzzing one, and she wanted to get rid of it. It was irritating, cluttering her haphazard thoughts, and it constricted her breathing a little.

So she asked. "Se-, Sesshoumaru?"

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He heard her voice. It was soft, concerned and full of that annoying curiousity.

But it sounded far off, as if his ears were filled with water. Or she was hidden away from him in a cloud.

Sesshoumaru looked around; he was standing at the edge of a plain wooden bridge, that arched over a calm, serene river. Light mist drifted all over the place, and he could see no fish or water-plants in the river. The blue waters were clear, so clear that he could see the bottom and yet he could not see the other end of the bridge.

A part of him wanted to cross the bridge, and a part of him did not want to. He deliberated over his decision for a while, and suddenly a butterfly came into his scope of vision. It was a small creature, with pure black wings, that hovered before his eyes and fluttered to the other end, disappearing into the silvery cool mist.

"A guide," he mused to himself and took a step forward.

Sesshoumaru felt incredibly light, and joyful and sorrowful at the same time. Was he leaving something behind? Had he left any unfinished business? Or was it simply not right of him to go forward? He felt as if his brain split into two, detached from each other as he tried to analyze.

But he longed for the other side, he wanted to see where the butterfly had went to, and whether the bridge would end. The river now looked so wide and endless to him, that he felt a smidgen of fear.

He took another two steps forward, and another two steps; his body was getting heavier and heavier, his feet seemed to be bound by iron chains and he was puzzled. Did it meant that he could not go, or he did not really wanted to go? He looked over his shoulder, as his long silver hair draped off his shoulders, the place was abnormally clear. He could see the start of the bridge, the place where he had once stood, but no one was there.

No one.

And he felt a little sad at that fact.

He resumed his steps, and soon he was standing at the center of the wooden bridge, at the highest point over the dead river.

"Sesshoumaru?"

He heard it; it was clear, urgent, and worrisome.

The taiyoukai looked over his shoulder again, he could see no one. But the feminine voice resounded in his ears again.

He frowned a little, and was going to head towards his destination when he heard it again.

"Baka! Come back!"

The voice was so loud and so desperate that echoes vibrated through his ethereal body and ripples occurred all over the surface of the river.

He wanted to smile, because someone asked for him. And he wanted to go back, because he wanted to rip off her throat, to stab her with Tenseiga, and to finish whatever Life had for him.

Sesshoumaru turned around, and with steps as light and as fast a bird, he ran, and ran.

Back to her.

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Notes: In Japanese and Chinese myths, its believed that when a person dies, he/she needs to cross the bridge over a river, to the underworld, or to the next life. Butterflies are also often believed to be souls, or reincarnations of dead people. Or as messengers of Hell. 

A/N: There will be other chapters, but this will not be a long fic. This ficlet was inspired by some pictures I saw at DeviantArt, and yes, Im writing a human Sesshoumaru. )


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: And then they started to fill up the holes.**

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Glossary:

Tadaima - I'm back (home). Often replied with "okaeri nasai".

Okaeri - Welcome back (home)! Often in response to "tadaima".

Daijoubu - Are you alright?

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_"Tadaima."_

That was the first thought that came to him when he regained consciousness. His body felt very heavy and dead, but the pain was ironically real; so real that he felt as if his dying body was being simmered on slow-burning coals. Through his half-closed eyes, he could see a blurry image of a woman's face, all contorted in what seemed like worry and relief to him.

For a moment, he thought that she was Rin, and wondered why he did not hear her formal yet endearing address.

"Daijoubu?" Kagome asked while she laid a piece of damp rag over his forehead and crawled away with a light frown while she restlessly stoke the half-dying fire.

He then knew that she was not Rin, because his Rin would not talk like that. Her voice was more high-pitched, whereas this one was rather soothing. Rin would quietly tend to his injuries, not mentioning a word about his fall, _his shame_, and then would talk about her day of picking wild flowers, chasing lazy butterflies, catching slippery fish and how nasty and terrible and evil Jaken was to her.

Then he remembered; it was the miko, the one who had suddenly vanished into thin air, the one who was smitten with his hanyou brother, the one who could purify the damned jewel with one touch. He could feel the almost forgotten traces of the Shikon no Tama's power from her too.

Sesshoumaru wanted to talk, about what he could not recall, but the moment he tried to, he choked on his own blood.

He never thought such a day would come, that he would be tasting his own blood. It felt weirdly comical, interesting and pitiful. He spat out the half-congealed blood, and immediately felt a nerve-numbing pain that racked through his chest. His world spun like a child's wooden spinning top, and the last thought that went through his mind as her face hovered over him like some mother hen was that he really wanted to say it out loud.

_"Tadaima,"_ that was.

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_"Okaeri!"_

That was what she wanted to say when she saw his eyes flutter open the way new born puppies do. She was so worried about his condition that when she felt the joy and relief in her heart, she thought that the old Kagome was not lost, yet. The old Kagome had a big heart for everyone, would try her best for everyone and would even nurse her enemies because no one was really evil other than Naraku.

Like what she was doing now.

His eyes did not really focus on her face, and she wondered for a moment whether he recognized her. The young miko who wore her short green school-skirt everyday, who lugged a monstrous bright yellow schoolbag around, and who was once his enemy.

She told herself that there was no such thing as eternal enemies. Nothing was eternal, anyway.

"Daijoubu?" She saw that he was trying to concentrate, and she wanted to tell him that it was alright to rest, as long as he promised that he would return and not leave her alone. Afterall, she did not really want to see him die, and if she could not return to her time (since she did not trust the _damned_ well anymore), his 'human' presence would be greatly appreciated and reciprocated.

She did not really want to be alone. No, not at all.

But because he was Sesshoumaru (no matter whether he was youkai or human) she swallowed back the words and contended for placing a wet rag over his burning hot forehead. Kagome frowned a little at his healing rate; he had been unconscious for two days and the fever did not subside at all. She knew that he would have to fight with the infection-causing bacteria himself since he no longer had the magical regeneration abilities and seemingly unsurpassable immunity of a youkai.

Kagome let out a silent, helpless sigh as she took a sturdy thick twig and jabbed at the fire which did not seem cooperative. Perspiration stuck to her skin like a crumpled sheet of cling wrap and for that instant, she wished that she was in her personal bathtub of cold water instead.

_"Why did I come back?"_

The question repeated itself in her mind as she tried to come up with answers.

Of course, it was a futile attempt. As futile as trying to explain the importance of her tests to Inuyasha.

But she could not give up; she had to find a reason. A logical reason, that would refute the illogical well, if that made any sense. Kagome just wanted to feel better, if that was a redeeming enough excuse.

Deep down in her heart, she knew that she was glad; to be able to return through the well-portal, and to see _his_ half-brother because it represented her past, which was true and real and not a figment of her flailing imagination. But somewhere in her heart, somewhat, somehow, she knew that _he_ was already dead. His body had returned back to the earth, ash-white bones buried somewhere and his spirit hovering in the realm of Neverdying.

Still.

She was sad too. Not so much about_ his_ death, not at all. She had expected it, had imagined it, had thought about what she would do if she returned to an Inuyasha-less world. She would go and find her remaining feudal companions; Miroku, Sango, Shippou and Kirara.

If they were still alive.

If not, well. Kagome looked back over her shoulder; Sesshoumaru's lips were trembling a little._ "He's here, at least. Stupid well."_

And then he suddenly let out a choking cough that zapped the hushed silence in her mind. By the time she scrambled back to him like a devoted, sadly twisted and half-crazed nurse, his nostrils, lips and chin were covered with sticky-looking blood.

For a moment, she thought she saw a flicker of light in his eyes before he concussed.

Without thinking, she replied softly as she removed the half-dried rag from his forehead to wipe away the red that tainted her nightmares so very often.

"Okaeri."

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He dreamt of cool rushing streams, bright shining suns, colourful wild flowers and the then two-headed Ah-Un.

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She dreamt of unruly silver hair, cold full moons, blood-red haori and the untransformed Tessaiga without its sheath.

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When he opened his damp eyes, she was stirring a small pot like a subdued witch.

When she knew that he had woke up, she offered him a bowl of her porridge.

They drank the watery meal in silence with no complaints. He noticed that her sleeves had been torn off, while she patiently ground herbs in between two small stones. Then she changed the dressing around his chest, where she could almost see his ribcage and the brutal clawed marks of the ookami-youkai.

_"There will be scars,"_ Kagome thought.

He forced himself to look away, because he was uncomfortable. From her gentleness, from his weakness, and from all the wonderful barrage of human emotions that were booming and swelling in his heart.

_"She is half-empty,"_ Sesshoumaru thought.

"It's done," she sounded hollowed out; with resignation, hope, fatigue, anger, concern and worry.

He nodded his head, not trusting his voice and not wanting to say thanks. He did not ask for her help, and he still wanted to take her life.

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Then, he was tired of Rin's relentless, seemingly thoughtless chatter about her days. The things she told him were almost the same, day in and day out, and he once thought that the ever-changing moon was more interesting than his human ward. Sometimes, he would be so sick of it that he would give a stern look, or frown a little, and his Rin would get the idea and shut up. 

That was, until the day she died.

He did not confess to anyone, _there was no need for such frivolous things_, that he felt a little 'mis-aligned'. He did not want to think about the things she had taken away from him, _those insignificant, life-dreary things_, as she passed onto the next world, to her next life. He did not want to admit to himself that he had gained a new level of understanding regarding human speech and thoughts, for it was not important.

Rin was not important to him. He might feel a little odd without her, but that was it. She had become a habit; _his_ habit.

He had affirmed himself with such thoughts, as long as he could until regrets, shame and guilt started to crawl into his once never-changing mindset. They seeped into him; so slowly, so silently, so inconspicuously over the years after her brutal death that when it presented itself, so pure and stark and wholesome, he was shaken.

And then, he started to mourn for her death, started to miss her presence, and started to love her.

For he never really did love her as his own when she was kicking her feet on Ah-Un's back and singing ridiculous songs about him.

And Kagome was like her, talking about insignificant things all day long. All the while trying to push away silence, overcome her fears, and silently conveying to him her innermost thoughts.

A part of Sesshoumaru wanted to laugh at himself. Of all things to become adept at, learning to understand humans, _women_, was not what he had in mind or had anticipated at all. It seemed to him that Kagome was subconsciously replacing what Rin had taken away from him, and he was also being used by her the way Rin did, albeit without his permission.

To live her life out through him.

Still.

Filling in uncountables holes in each other's lives was not something that he wanted to do.

Yet.

He found himself edging, tilting, lurching towards her. And he knew that she knew, she herself was also doing the same thing, too.

"Why aren't you responding!"

Ah-

A smile formed its curves in the basin of his heart.

Sesshoumaru cleared his throat a little and looked at her coolly.

"I saved your life you know," Kagome tried not to pout, because she was no longer fifteen. And if he knew her actual age, he might laugh at her.

"What do you want me to say?" he tried to answer as tonelessly as possible. He could not afford to change that much, because it would cost him too much.

The thirty-year old miko bit the insides of her cheeks and started to bang the worn-out stone angrily at the dark green herbs. She had expected him to ask her questions, to complain about the humidity or simply told her to shut up. But he was as quiet as a ghost, and this unnerved and irritated her. She felt like a fifteen-year old schoolgirl who was infatuated with her teacher, dying to know his inner thoughts but yet feeling inadequate and insecure about herself.

Well, something like that.

"I've told you so much about me during these few days, shouldn't you say something in return! You just nod your head like a puppet."

He closed his eyes and tried not to inhale in too deeply, or sighed too much; did she wanted him to ask about her life? And why was he not angered by her remark? Was she becoming Rin to him? Or he becoming Inuyasha to her?

Sesshoumaru thought that he could almost hear the herbs crying out for help while the stones are being whittled down by her, and asked quietly, "Why did you save me?"

"I already told you that night. I can't watch you die, can I?"

The pounding continued, while Time ticked-tocked in both their heads.

"Who did this to you?" She asked quietly in return, as if it was a forbidden border that she should never approach.

He gritted his teeth so tight and for so long that his jaw muscles ached, and he cursed himself for being human.

He was born from a strong youkai, with powerful blood running through his body and immunity to poisons. He was_ once_ untouchable, unattainable, undefeatable and unrivaled.

Once, Rin was a habit to him. She belonged to the period 'once'; the Youkai Prince of the West too.

And then he fell; like his father, like Inuyasha, like Naraku.

But it was more shameful for his case, for he did not even know who his enemy was. All he could remember was the sudden white fog that had enshrouded Jaken and him when they were walking at the foot of the mountain. He was overwhelmed by the suffocating, pungent acrid stench to which he woke up in this _new, unwanted_ state while Jaken was nowhere to be found.

To fall into another's trap without knowing who the attacker was more than shameful; it was inexcusable, odious, appalling and ignoble. At least his father had fought a good battle, had sealed his enemy, had passed on his two swords to his two sons.

He had no heirs, at all. And at this self-reached remark, the once Great Youkai Prince thought of his human ward.

Sesshoumaru squeezed open his eyes as the bitter heady scent of the mashed herbs reached his nostrils. He never dilly-dallied in such wasteful and useless thoughts before.

"Who did this to you?"

Kagome froze; half clutching the rounded stone in her right hand while her lips parted at the words that he so casually threw back at her. Did he saw the emptiness in her heart? Or the gaping wounds, or the bloodied nightmares, and was he being concerned or sarcastic?

"What do you mean?" She put away the stone and stared coldly at the dark green, dead mess.

Sesshoumaru did not answer her; he had no wish to. "I feel better today. Tomorrow I will set off."

Kagome slouched a little more, not sure whether she was feeling left out, neglected, or simply miserable at his ambiguous question. "To where?"

"You do not need to know," he closed his eyes and _prayed_. He never prayed before, too, since he had once thought himself immortal and invincible.

She bit her lower lip; what should she do?

To follow him, or to go home?

To head for more danger, or to return to dried-out comforts?

To follow her heart, or to heed her head?

And suddenly, Kagome felt very afraid and tired, even though she did not understand why. The unidentified fear washed over her shoulders and she squeezed her eyes shut, not wanting to succumb to it for there was nothing in this world that she should be afraid of. She had stood at the end of her life for so long that nothing should scare her anymore.

Yes. She was tired, but not afraid. Not of the unknowns, the impossibles, or the possibility that she might step over the line to the next world.

"You need me."

For reasons he did not understand, his prayer had come true.

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Helloooooooooo! 

I am so glad that has installed this new review-replying tool! Finally!

Thank you to all those who reviewed Chapter 1; I'm not sure whether I can deliver to your expectations... but I'll try. :) Muchos thanks to Parsnip, who gave me the inspiration to continue this ficlet (and on with Chapter 3 soon I think!) and who read this over like my english grammar teacher.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3: And they try to come to terms with their past.**

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_**"They are different, but not different enough to matter ---**_

_**like the maple leaves off the tree in my yard, when all I want to do is rake them up."**_

- Roald Hoffmann, 1981 Nobel Laureate in Chemistry (The Same and Not the Same)

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Glossary:

Haori - coat worn over kimono

Hakama - pleated pants

Onsens - natural hot springs

Yokatta - I'm glad/relieved to hear/know that!

* * *

"Don't you feel hot?"

He did not reply, although he knew that she was discreetly glancing at his kimono.

"Are you thirsty?"

He continued to walk ahead, firmly and purposefully ignoring her presence; for this was what he would have done with Rin.

"I need to rest," Kagome let out a soft sigh and stopped while she tried to wipe off the sticky moisture on her forehead using her torn sleeves.

Sesshoumaru paused in his tracks, but did not turn nor nod his head. She looked at his still back for a full minute, wondering if he was contemplating her suggestion or checking for nearby danger when a random thought popped into her head. That if he was Inuyasha, she would have screamed, shouted, complained or 'osuwari'-ed him then for a faster reaction.

"Can we rest for a while? I'll go get some water for us," Kagome pleaded. She was no longer the young miko who could walk non-stop with the energy-laden hanyou; besides, Sesshoumaru did not carry her on his back.

His lips thinned a little, feeling a little annoyed at her suggestion and also at his own worn-out body. He could feel that his human legs needed a rest, but the knowledge of it did not help with his bruised self-esteem at all. Sesshoumaru quietly retreated to a shady spot under a big cedar tree and closed his eyes.

She stared at him for a good minute, with her lips half-screwed up and resorted to blowing her bangs to let out her frustration.

She used to do that when she was younger and irritated at Inuyasha; no harm doing it again. She wanted to yell at him, for being such a bad companion; wanted to complain, about the sticky humid weather, about his enforced silence, about all the old memories rolling and churning in her head. But all the words simply died in her throat, because at the same time, she did _not_ really want to do it either.

Not now. No, not anymore.

Kagome blew her bangs again while she laid down her bow and arrows; what did she expect from him anyway?

They tried to kill each other, afterall, in the past; many things happened in the days of yore.

Her much-treasured and fond memories washed over her feet like the ever-constant gentle tides changing with the inconstant moon.

In the past, Inuyasha was beside her, always complaining about her frequent trips to onsens and stealing her snacks and ramen.

In the past, Sango and Miroku were her best and strongest friends, and Shippou was a cute, sly kid who loved Pocky more than the jewel.

In the past, Naraku was the one of the reasons why she constantly traveled back to Sengoku Jidai, and who was subsequently defeated by her friends.

In the past, she was also labeled as Kikyou's reincarnation, the one who could purify and later shattered the Shikon no Tama.

In the past... she was everything but now.

Kagome wanted to weep at all the re-opened, old wounds that were slowly appearing all over her battered, crumbling soul. And now the much-hated, habitual memories rose up to her waist; she could almost feel her legs giving way under the pressure of the waters, heartache, desolation and agony.

"We don't have much time," Sesshoumaru did not want to know what was going in her crazed mind while she stood there like a deserted, struggling willow tree hanging precariously over a dead, flooded river.

And _only_ the waters disappeared with the blink of her eye.

"I'll come back soon," she gave herself a mental shake, turned away and lifted her socked feet-

_Oh how heavy they felt!_

Kagome paid no heed to them and walked on.

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He watched her trudge through imaginary mud-filled ground and let out a light sigh that rivaled the leaves' spreading over his head.

He was not sure whether bringing her along was a bad idea, and whether letting her follow him was a good idea; for the good of both of them.

Sesshoumaru blinked away the perspiration that were threatening to cloud his vision, and cursed himself again. He was never much affected by the heat, nor the cold, nor fatigue, sickness, danger, worries, guilt, anguish, grief, torment-

_Oh how heavy they felt!_

He balled his fists, and cursed again because they did not feel as tight and packed as before.

Once, he was a taiyoukai, who could wield both Toukijin and Tenseiga and was revered by that alone.

Once, he had a legion of supporters and followers, and had a kappa-youkai as his ever-faithful retainer.

Once, he accidentally saved a little human girl, who followed him as long as she could, until she ended up as food for wolves again.

Once, he had a heart which did not seem alive and then, his heart started to resume its beats for the long dead _her_.

Once... he was everything but now.

Sesshoumaru squeezed his eyes shut and took in a deep breath. He could smell the after-effects of last night's storm, the rusty scent of squishy mud, the fresh green leaves, and the dry hot smells of summer breezing around the woods. He used to be able to smell others; humans and youkai alike, and their fear, excitement and whether their intentions were of ally or of foe.

He was still trying to accept the truth, to make the best out of his wasting body, and to do whatever he can for both her and himself.

For there was only so much time for both of them, and it was fast running out. He figured that he only had about thirty or forty years left before his body gave way, _although his soul would not_, unless he managed to return to his true state.

If.

And until then, he would remain as a wicked, useless and slowly-decaying man who couldn't even fend off some pathetic wolves.

Perhaps, he should not have allowed _her_ to follow him. Or perhaps, he should have killed _her_ back then.

"Ahhh!"

His eyes flew open at that faraway, echoed scream.

Sesshoumaru got to his feet as fast as he could, unsheathed the now dulled Tenseiga, picked up her creaky bow and quiver, and ran as fast as he could to Kagome.

As he dashed past scratchy grasses and stumbled over not-too-small stones under the merciless sun, he cursed himself and her for being so stupid and naive and trusting in this danger-infested environment. It was definitely a good idea to bring her along with him; who knew what would have happened if he left her all alone by herself!

Warning bells rang in his head, loud and clear that he might get himself into danger if he went to her rescue. And if luck was not on their side, they might end up as food for some hungry or power-deprived youkai.

But Sesshoumaru paid no heed to them, for he was now a human and acting beyond such reasoning barricades was normal.

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He skidded to a muddy stop when he saw a half-translucent, almost-shapeless form hovering and wavering slightly in the middle of the lake. She was caught in what seemed like slimy, tentacle-like hands and the senseless youkai was maniacally swinging her around like some newfound toy.

Amusedly, he noted that the sun's rays still passed through the water-youkai and the light and droplets of water glistened on her hair like pretty, multi-coloured jewels. Also, he could see through everything underneath her white miko haori, which was... interesting.

"Waaaah!"

Kagome let out another terrified scream as the water-youkai began to sink back into its home; the rapid descent was making her giddy and nauseous and disorientated. At the same time, she was wondering whether he would save her, and if that was not the intention, why was he there?

Because she said that he needed her?

"Sesshoumaru!" Kagome could not take it anymore, and screamed for all that she was worth before water swam in her eyes.

Without thinking (which was not his old self at all), he threw away her bow and quiver (for they would not work in water), took the biggest breath he could and dived into the water with his boots on.

Then, he swam and swam to the water-youkai which was now dirty green in colour and very conspicuous- and disgusting-looking. In his part-blurred vision, Sesshoumaru could identify two puny horns above its monstrously-large, oversized head with a large gaping teeth-less mouth.

_"Good, she won't feel pain if she's being eaten then," _he blinked and for the first time in his life, cursed himself for wearing a kimono.

Kagome could see him, with his long, dark brown hair floating around his long, white body coming towards her and for a moment, her heart leapt with joy. Until the lax grip around her waist suddenly tightened and she was yanked back forcefully like a tethered horse.

It was then they started to wonder how the rescue mission was going to be accomplished.

He let out a stream of bubbles through his nostrils and started to hack at the ugly, green monster with Tenseiga as much as he could. But it did not seem to work and small mouths with ferocious-looking sharp teeth started to appear at the place where Tenseiga had touched. The water-youkai was truly a dim-witted one, for it did not move away and neither did it attack him. It merely stood its place and held onto its prisoner tightly, as if what was happening before his very eyes was a very interesting show that he shouldn't miss.

So Sesshoumaru continued to hack at its legs, and thanked whatever god he could remember for his big lungs and hacked again.

One, two, three-

Kagome's struggling ceased.

Four, five, six-

Her eyes started to close.

Seven, eight, nine-

Almost no bubbles were coming out from her mouth or nose anymore.

Sesshoumaru started to panic (oh what a wonderful oxygen-depriving agent!) at the number of angry teethy mouths that appeared, for they seem to grow bigger and serpent-like tongues were beginning to snake their way out from them. He lifted Tenseiga while he raised his head and looked at her.

Kagome was not moving, at all.

And in a moment of desperation and frustration and anger, he let out a miffed, growl-like shout which sounded like bubbling to his ears, and swiped Tenseiga at nowhere.

The sword glowed like never before, and before he knew it, the waters parted from the tip of Tenseiga and swirled around him like some big blasted tornado. Mist were spurting out from the tornado and when he blinked again, Kagome was lying motionlessly in the middle of the dried-out bottom. He ran to her, _Oh how light his feet felt,_ picked her up and the moment her head rested on his shoulder, the concentric wall of waters crashed down and they bobbed.

Up and up until both of them surfaced and Sesshoumaru swam as fast as he could back to the shore. He did not want to look back,_ for there was no looking back anymore_, and focused on the nice, green grasses even though he could hear angry, water-like shrieks behind him.

By the time he heaved himself and her heavy body onto the dry ground, he was panting like a mad, worn-out dog and she was not breathing.

Her skin looked as white as his kimono and her lips were as pale as the morning light. He pushed away the wet chunks of hair that was splayed across her death-like face and slapped her cheeks hard.

No response.

He bent down and placed his ears over her chest; he could hear the soft beating of her heart, like that of a newborn bird. Sesshoumaru smiled a little and flipped her body over his thigh like a dead fish. Using the sheath of Tenseiga, he took aim and whacked hard on her back.

On the third attempt, Kagome regained her consciousness and with mysterious back pain, she coughed and retched and vomited.

After spewing out clear lake water on the fourth vomit, she clung onto his trembling thigh for a full minute as she tried to catch her ragged breath.

His eyebrow quirked up when he realized that she had no intention to move her body away from him; so he let out a loud cough.

She blearily looked up, and as her vision focused, she thought that Sesshoumaru was rather good looking in his human form too. But he had this indescribable look on his face which seemed irritated and relieved at the same time, and she was not sure whether she had been saved by him or not.

"Did you... save me?"

Sesshoumaru decided that being a human, he would get to experience many 'first-times'. One of them being now; he felt like banging his head against that particular tree in front of him which seemed rather sturdy-looking. Of course common sense prevailed and he simply let her slip onto the wild grass while he stood up and tried to shake off the water that were dripping off the ends of his heavy and creased kimono.

As Kagome's chin jarred against the not-too-soft mud ground, she scowled, "You!"

He turned around, ignored her murderous stare and took off his wet, clingy kimono.

She was not unfamiliar to seeing naked men; in fact, she rather lying over their backs because they were so wide, so warm and so firm that it gave her a sense of security and consolation that _they_ could not see her face. Sometimes, she would zone out and fall asleep on _their_ backs, dreaming of her beloved being killed and his blood splattered all over the walls of her nightmares. Sometimes, she would bury her face into the hollow in between _their_ shoulder-blades and wonder if Inuyasha's back felt like _theirs_.

Most of the time, they would ask to see her again, either for the sex or for her _impossible_ love, and she would always turn them down.

And so, because this was Sesshoumaru, _his elder half-brother_, and she was still in her miko garb, _the once unsullied outfit_, Kagome instantly sat up and turned her _scarred_ back towards him.

"I'm still here!"

"So?" He retorted snidely, and draped his kimono over one of the lowest branches.

She looked up as droplets of water from his kimono hit against her forehead like bullets.

Kagome sighed as she stood, wrung the water out from his kimono, re-drape it over the branch and folded her arms while he was knee-deep in the lake.

"Wouldn't the youkai in the lake come after you?"

He didn't bother to turn his head, (in which she assumed that he hated to look at her) and replied blankly while he tried to stab at swimming fishes with Tenseiga, "It's only interested in females."

Her lips formed an "O"; she didn't know that. But of course, he'd lived for centuries before she was even born.

"Get a fire going instead of standing there looking at me like an idiot."

She thought that was the longest string of words that ever came out from his mouth throughout these two weeks, and secretly smiled to herself.

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He smiled a little, but he knew that she could not see under the cloak of midnight. And that was one of the reasons why he loved the sunless time, for it was as dark as his inner mind and nobody could see the worms crawling out from his heart. The blanket of stars above his head was a temporary shelter of relief until dawn comes, until the sun rises and the beast inside him would retreat.

Even though now that he has obtained a human body, he still could not get rid of the parasites that were feeding away on his soul. Sometimes he thinks that those unsightly, leeching creatures are part of him, and sometimes he wondered whether he should gouge his eyes out so that he would never see the light again.

The light of Truth that was being forced into a pinhole-like container that sears and incises at his bleeding, penitent heart like an ancient, trenchant blade.

"What do I do for a living?" She repeated his question because she was not sure whether she had heard correctly; it was also his first question for her.

He nodded, and thought that under the cold, wane moonlight, her skin gave off a very pretty yet soft radiance. Very velvety-looking too.

"I sell books. I have a shop, near my house where I sell books."

He wondered how the bridge of her small nose would feel under his human finger, _Skeletal and cutting, perhaps?_ "Books?"

She wrapped her arms around herself, because even during summer, the nights were still a little chilly. "All kinds, most of them are stories for children. So the majority of my customers are mothers and young students."

Sesshoumaru nodded silently; he wondered what kind of story he could say to his descendants, if he had any. Would he speak of his nobility-given glory, recount tales of his majestic victories and fierce battles, or confess to the weight of his sins and loneliness that he quietly carried on his shoulders?

Kagome twirled a little dandelion between her fingers, "Sometimes, I hold story-telling competitions. Sometimes, I tell stories to children."

"Do you like it?" He asked quietly; he thought of the times that Rin had asked for a story and how he would instruct her on survival skills instead. He could not remember whether his own mother had told a story to him, but it did not matter. He turned out alright; strong-minded enough to be presented to the world as the eldest borne of the strongest youkai, formidable enough to eliminate his shameful hanyou-brother, and tenacious enough to withstand the elements of Nature.

Sesshoumaru mentally sighed; Time and Decay were never his enemies until now.

Kagome was a little stunned at his question, even though she had sort of expected it. It was the same question that her grandfather, mother and Souta had asked before too. Her friends did not understand why she would be happy owning and managing a small bookstore at the corner of a not-busy street when she had a degree in Marketing. But of course, she never could really give them a satisfactory answer.

"Hmm... I like to see the expression on their faces, especially when the happy-ever-after ending comes. But when they leave the shop..."

She blew gently at the dandelion, and hundreds of soft white pins began to fly away and dance in the skies without a care like children.

"It's over. The happiness that I feel, goes with them when they leave my shop and return to their mothers."

Both of them remained silent for a long, long while, until he plucked off another dandelion, and wondered again whether her hair would be as soft as this.

"There is no such thing as a good ending."

She wearily nodded.

"But, there is no such thing as a bad ending too."

She turned her face to him; and thought he looked so utterly fragile and_ deluded_ that she wanted to hug him and tell him that whether the endings to their lives were good or bad, it did not really matter as long as they tried their best. But because she herself did not believe in such fallacies, she bit her tongue and wondered whether he could see the end of his time.

Sesshoumaru blew at the head of the dandelion and looked into her eyes, "One shouldn't base his or her happiness on such."

Kagome looked away, for even though his gaze was soft and sad and yielding, it was piercing and straining and strong at the same time too. It made her uncomfortable, naked; and she realized that even a human Sesshoumaru could never be Inuyasha to her.

"You seem to prefer night-time," she asked because he looked more at ease now and she wanted to switch topics.

He nodded with only one corner of his lip twisted up, "Ah."

She crushed another dandelion with the other free hand, "Me too," _because it covers the secrets of my dark past_.

He ran his tongue across his lower lip and continued without prompting, "The light is softer at night. Everything looks prettier, including you."

She wanted to scowl at his miserably-tried humour, "Thank you."

He threw his next question without prompting nor hesitation, "Why did you leave your friends and him?"

She responded back with her own, "Why... why did you save me?"

He wanted to laugh out loud at her question. _Why indeed!_

He moved to sit beside her, because he wanted to and he knew that she yearned for it too. Kagome did not move and stilled herself while her breathing slowed down to a near-impossible pace, for fear that he might hear the thumping of her heart.

"Why? That is a good question," Sesshoumaru went over to cover her right hand which was tightly clutching at the red fabric of her hakama. It felt cold, and because she did not flinch, he loosened her grip and wrapped his warmer one around her smaller hand.

"Because you said that I needed you?" His voice sounded so rich, so resonant that it echoed everything that was turning in her head.

And at that, tears rose to her eyes so easily that she felt a little betrayed by her emotions and her tear-glands. She silently cried for a while and when she felt that her voice didn't sound too shaky, she asked again.

"Are you comforting me?" She felt like a little girl of eight; her dad used to hold her hand like that as they sat gaily on the roof of her shrine house gazing at the unresponsive and faraway moon.

Sesshoumaru's eyes narrowed for a while, and thought of many, incomprehensible things while she waited for his answer.

"Hn, although I'm not Inuyasha."

And Kagome gave a wide, puppy-like smile at his answer, _I'm not Rin too_, "Yokatta!"

She no longer wanted to know why the well had opened up.

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To all who reviewed, thank you soooooo much! And yes, writing a human Sesshoumaru was inspired by the deviant art drawn by Lady Shieru. Do check out her pics, they are awesome. :) 

A possible limey section in coming chapter 4. To those who are waiting for update to Ten Thousand Cranes, you might have to wait a little longer, hee!


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4: And they traded almost all their secrets under the summer moon.**

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_**"We dance around in a ring and suppose,**_

_**While the secret sits in the middle and knows."**_

- Robert Frost (1874 - 1963)

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When he turned her around with a slight nudge, and held her chin in his long, cold fingers, she did not look away. 

_I can see myself in your eyes, so faraway it seems though. _

When he placed his dry mouth over hers and started to suck at her bottom lip gently, she did not refuse him nor move away.

_Kiss me, with all your soul if possible. _

And when he leisurely pushed her dirtied and dried white haori away from her shoulders, her tearing eyes smiled and she heard the quivering of her well-forged and almost-deadened heart.

_Don't leave me, no matter what happens._

As Sesshoumaru left burning red marks all over her body, she trembled and shivered with excitement and fear.

_Oh yes, indeed, yes... _

"Are you cold?" He looked up from her tingling chest, with his deep brown fringes partially covering his hazy eyes and his hands busy with her bottom.

She shook her head, smiled again and wrapped her legs around a naked him, "No."

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When she rolled over him and started to blow and nip at all the sensitive places, he was surprised. She was no novice, but it did not matter to him.

_Nothing really matters, anymore. _

When her fingers trailed lightly over the contours of his face, his chest, his stomach and his penis, he stiffened so quick and so hard that he felt a little embarrassed by his human body's reaction.

_And this will turn to dust and ashes one day._

Yet she was beyond amused; she was delighted, enthralled and responded with such a fervent, unbridled passion using her lips in a never-before imagined method that he felt as if he was in Heaven.

_Don't go, my heart will ache. _

And as Kagome slid over him, up and down, slowly and torturously like a soiled, sacred virgin, he could only open his mouth and squeeze his eyes shut in unmentionable pleasures.

_No, no don't stop, ever. _

"Are you alright?" She asked through half-lidded eyes while she pressed her body down against his; she felt so soft, so good, so yielding and fragile and delicate and shaky-

He opened his eyes and flashed a lazy smile at her blushing face, "No, I'm not alright."

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Under the peering crescent moon, he and she made love to each other, again and again until they lost count and both bled. Until they dozed off from fatigue with their limbs all entwined around each other, until they have memorized every curve, every dip and every unique spot of each other's bodies and until they tire of each other.

And then the cycle repeats itself.

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"Tell me a secret about yourself," Kagome lay on his spread-out kimono with her arms under her damp head.

Sesshoumaru smiled; he never felt this glorious even though perspiration and dirt were all over his body. "What do you want to know?"

She didn't look away from the cold, faraway moon, and asked wispily, "Any secret."

He thought for a while, and told her about Rin; all the things that he wished he could have done for her, the things he could have said to her then, and the things she had taken away from him. How ashamed, regretful and wretched he felt for doing all the things that hurt his little ward.

She silently listened to him with a clouded and leaden heart, and thought of the things that Inuyasha had stolen away from her too. So many promises exchanged, but none of them fulfilled; so many harsh words said, but none of them forgotten.

When he was done, emptied and lighter, she wrapped her arms around him and laid her head on his chest, "Ssshh. My turn."

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Under the hot summer moon, they fill up each other's lives with their secrets; old and threadbare stuff hidden so deep and so long that sometimes that they burst out laughing on their own. And sometimes, they silently weep for each other and for themselves. Most of the time, they store each other's treasured secrets secretly in the dark chambers of their own memory-vaults.

And they do not stop, for they no longer could.

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"When I was young, I encountered a bear youkai who wanted to eat me up. So I challenged him because I was taught to do so and I asked him for the reason before I took out its heart. Guess what did he said?"

She pursed her lips as she laid spread-eagled over his naked back, "Hmmm... To take your position?"

He shook his head and replied as solemnly as he could, "He said that I was cute."

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"I once dated a man more than once."

He opened one eye and looked down on her head of black hair, "And?"

She thought of the way Houjou would leave his glasses on the floor before they went to bed, "He committed suicide when I rejected his marriage proposal for the fifth time, and I didn't attend his funeral."

He then subsequently silenced her with his mouth and tasted salt in her kisses. It stung him, badly.

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He leaned against her thin back and looked at the messily-strewn stars in the sky, "I killed my own mother."

Her lips parted, but she made no noise, "Why?"

He absentmindedly fingered the hilt of Tenseiga and replied sadly, "Because she was pregnant with another."

She squeezed his human hand tight, and he squeezed back.

"Don't miss them," she closed her eyes and answered bravely for him.

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"Let me tell you my biggest secret!" She smiled into his warm cheek.

He doubted that it was a big one, "Ah."

She whispered into his ear and giggled, "I'm thirty this year!"

He whispered back into her ear with no smiles, "I'm somewhere near a thousand this year."

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He drew lazy circles on her breast while she squirmed like a little eager child, "Let me tell you another secret."

She arched her back like a well-oiled bridge while he pulled out and slammed into her again, "Hn..."

"I think, being a human is not too bad," _if I get to meet you then,_ and looked into her once-grieving stormy eyes.

She rested her fingers lightly on his chin and looked back into his very-human confused eyes, "Hn," _I think so too._

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She covered herself with his kimono and thought that his body was so very warm and firm and strong, "Remember Kikyou?"

He wrapped his arms around her shoulders and rested his chin on her head, "The undead one."

She let out a bitter smile and thought of that day when she was in _her_ memories, under the lake while she was pouring the holy soil back into _her_ gaping, widening wound, and seeing Inuyasha in his younger days through _her_ eyes; it hurt her a lot.

"I don't hate her, but in my heart, I secretly wished that she would die, together with that part of my soul that she'd taken."

He ran his fingers through her long, mussed hair and closed his eyes, "I sent her back with my left hand."

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Under the feeling-less and unmerciful july moons, with fireflies swarming around their spent out, worn out and fulfilled bodies, they gave part of their hearts to each other. Silent, unbidden vows were exchanged and a covenant of faith was established between them. However, both kept one secret to themselves, for such was the way of Life.

Humans thrive on secrets, and secrets in turn mushroom on their greediness and selfishness.

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Kagome looked down on her sandaled feet as she continued to quietly follow in his footsteps. She wondered what his response would be if she told him i that one last /i secret. Shocked? Surprised? Angry? Rejecting? Disgusted?

_Or... happy?_

She frowned to herself a little, and chewed on her lower lip.

Sesshoumaru could feel the flies of tension hovering behind his back and stopped while he looked back over his shoulder, "Kagome?"

She lifted her head and flashed a genuine, cheerful smile at him, "I just feel a little tired."

And at that sudden exuberant expression, he was half-taken aback at what he had done to her; the other half was rejoicing at its gain.

Clouds of guilt vanished in his clear eyes of mahogany and he decided that he would not tell her his one last secret, for fear that he might lose her and himself in the process. "We are reaching there soon, just behind that small hill. Bear with it for a while more."

She merrily nodded, as if she was drunk on him and followed with an equally heavy heart. She should not have told him all her secrets and left one behind. The burden of it was pulling her down into the dark depths of misery and she might have to wallow in it for as long as-

He held her hand, and continued to walk ahead while his mind switched to the unlit and esoteric side. He would have to undo this change in him; humanity was not something that he really desired, no matter what Kagome may feel or think.

She looked up to his side-profile, and the woeful gloominess vapourized as she saw him settled down into a thinking mode.

_Everything will be fine,_ she told herself.

"Konnichiwa!" Kagome smiled a little and bowed at the monk who happened to past them by, with a weird expression fixed on his face.

Was it because she was wearing a tattered miko attire? Or was it because she was holding a man's hand? Or was it because-

"You."

Both of them looked at the outstretched bony finger that was pointing towards him.

Sesshoumaru narrowed his eyes, tilted his chin up and slid his fingers under the hilt of Tenseiga; Kagome froze a little at the sudden stillness of air in between the two males.

The aged monk adjusted the straw hat on his head and looked up to the stern, imperceptible Sesshoumaru, "You, are under a curse."

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Their secrets lay in between them, like an unbreakable bridge that bonded the both of them together.

They decided that, their last secrets would probably follow them to their graves.

* * *

My Christmas gift to all of you. D

If anyone of you feels kind enough, pls give me my christmas present in the form of reviews. And no, I won't tell you what their last secrets are. But if you guys notice carefully... oh well. P

Many thanks to Parsnip for looking through this.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5: And the mysterious monk reappears.**

* * *

**_"A man's moral conscience is the curse he had to accept from the gods_**

**_in order to gain from them the right to dream." _**

- William Faulkner (1897 - 1962)

* * *

"You are under a curse boy." 

They stared dumbfounded at the monk whose robes were shabbier than their own clothes as he patiently repeated himself.

"You carry something that is not of this world..." The seemingly-crazed monk stretched his reedy, spindly hand out to Tenseiga with an equally-crazed look in his ancient eyes.

Sesshoumaru unsheathed Tenseiga in one smooth, liquified-like action and pointed the dulled sword across Kagome at the monk's neck.

But the aged monk did not flinch nor inch away; instead, he let out a toothy, blackened smile at the once Youkai Prince and removed his hole-filled straw hat while his bald head glistened under the bright, hot sun.

"You are mistaken boy, although the aura around this sword... is not of this world too."

Kagome gulped as shivers ran down her arms like the much-coveted raindrops, "Houshi-sama..."

Sesshoumaru angled the blunt sword at the ragged, popped-out artery and asked in such a calm way that it unnerved her, "What is _not_ of this world?"

The woozy eyebrows of the monk creased as he stared hard at the faded-bluish hilt, "The tassels..."

Her eyes immediately swivelled down to the white and black tassels that were attached to the hilt and suddenly, the voices were back. The unknown whispers that she had once heard as she stood before her shrine well, came back like a gush of angry waters into her flooded ears and all she could hear were their haunting moaning, lamenting sobbing, bleating pleading, shrieking screaming-

Her world spun on an unnamed axis, darkness set in, and the Light disappeared.

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_"Why?"_

She looked around; thin mist surrounded her and when she looked down, she realized that she wasn't sitting on solid ground.

She was hovering in the middle of nowhere, with her legs tucked in like an unborn foetus and her arms wrapping around herself. It was cold, very cold, and very dead, desolate and bare.

_"Why?"_

The ghostly, sorrowful voice came again, and Kagome wanted to weep at the melancholy of it. So hushed, so gentle, so _quiet_.

"Where are you?" Kagome asked, even though she had no idea who the person was.

And then, as if she had spoken the secret password, a figure materialized right before her very eyes. It was the back view of a small child with shoulder-length hair, huddled in the same fetal-position as her and _it_, was rocking to and fro mindlessly like a wooden toy horse.

_"Why?"_

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"Kagome?"

The mist were gone, the freezing-coldness had disappeared along with the child and _its_ questions.

"Se... shoumaru?"

His face broke out in tiny smiles of relief, and he brushed her heavy fringe away, "You fainted."

"Oh," she closed her eyes as his hand rested in the crook of her neck, "Where is the monk?"

He frowned a little at her question as he helped her to sit up, "Gone."

"That monk... he is different," her mind was still in a whirl-wind state but yet she could not shake off the monk's presence that seemed to linger somewhere behind in her dream. _Somewhere._

Sesshoumaru haughtily blinked and looked away, "He is mad."

"But he said that you were under a curse, and something about the tassels..." Her eyes moved down to the hilt; under the filtered sunlight through the tree crowns, the tassels glinted and shimmered eerily.

He picked up the sword, unsheathed it and began to examine the metal, "There's nothing wrong; that monk is spouting rubbish."

Kagome nodded her head wearily; she felt as if she had just been ran over by a truck and the blandness in her mind dissipated as the searing warmth of the sun hit on her skin.

"Maybe you are right..." she stretched her hand towards the pretty tassels and when the contact was made, goose-bumps broke out all over her skin like hissing hives and she inwardly shuddered.

"These are made of...?"

He gave the sword a last swing and slid it back into its carved sheath, "Mine and Rin's hair."

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That very night, she had the same dream again and she could feel the monk's presence sidling around the corners of the emptied space. When she woke up from fright, the first thing she saw was Sesshoumaru's naked back. Kagome wrapped her arms around his waist and pressed her cheek against his perspiring back while she dozed back to sleep.

No more dreams would plague her for the rest of that night.

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Kagome wondered what they were going to do, now that they had made their way over the hill and were now standing in a valley hushed by evergreen trees on both sides with a bubbling clear river. Sesshoumaru had walked on, without talk nor rests and even though she was exhausted and her feet were aching, she did not complain.

She used to complain a lot; she would not be like that now. At least not with him.

"Look! A temple!" She happily pointed to the dingy, dark structure that was jutting out from the side of the steep hills like an ugly rock.

He raised his head to the direction of the seemingly dilapidated and abandoned temple, "No, we cannot afford to rest."

She skipped over small, slippery-looking stones and caught up with him, "Why? Where are we exactly going? You still won't tell me?"

At that moment, memories of Rin asking him the exact same questions returned to him like a yellow flash flood, and he felt so engulfed and overwhelmed that a lump rose in his throat. _She_ was once a contented child, then a curious adolescent, then a covetous grown up woman who never ceased in asking him where they were heading and what they were going to do. _She_ was once Kagome's height, had her big, sunshine-filled eyes and long black hair that felt as luxurious as hers.

Sesshoumaru looked back and fixed her with a cold steely look, "I'm going to retrieve my youkai self, stop asking!"

And she was paralyzed at his words; warmth seem to drain off from her body and she felt mildly stumped, "You... want to become a youkai?"

"I _am_ borne of a youkai; I will not remain as a human," his caustic words dripped cold, stinging sarcasm at a dumbfounded her.

She stared dazedly at his backview as he headed towards his untold destination without waiting for her.

To think that all the efforts she had went through, _are you leaving me behind_, not wanting to be entrenched in her old, stricken past and start all over together with him, _even though you didn't say a single word_, he still yearned to return to his youkai self, _I still want to be with you_, and that desire sat like a crowned, pompous, selfish king above her-

_But what can I expect from him?_

Kagome let out a glacial smile, collected her unloved tears with her fingertips and smiled a little more.

It was a harrowing yet oddly sedated walk down the memory lane; the way he looked at her with his accusing eyes, his set, grim jaw, the tone of his words-

Yes, he was like Inuyasha. The desire to become a full-fledged youkai was the same, so was their love for her, and her love for both of them.

And like fallen autumn leaves crowding her feet, memories of the past love between _him_ and her swirled around and away with the light morning breeze that ruffled her untied, heavy hair.

Sesshoumaru turned around when he heard the rustling of dried leaves, and saw her staring down at nowhere, looking lost and sad and pained and suddenly, the now not-so-incomprehensible thoughts returned to his mind again. Reminding him that some things were meant to be while others were simply not, some things were meant to live on while others should not, and some things were meant to be treasured while others should be let go-

He ran back to her, because his heart ached and because he did not want to see her like that again, he pulled her to his chest and wordlessly apologized. But he felt a little afraid too; at how attached he had grown to her, how dependent she was on him and how much they really needed each other.

She heard his apology, crystal clear and reverberating in his chest and in her head. It made pretty chiming sounds which brought her back to reality,; that she was with Sesshoumaru, the one whom she made love to under the stars and exchanged secrets one for one with. The one whom she would date more than once and bear him a dozen kids if he _ever_ asked.

"Let's trek up to the temple," he said.

She fisted his kimono and smiled, "Hn."

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"Ano..." Kagome stepped across the wooden hurdle into the temple's entrance and stole furtive glances around the area.

It looked to be in shambles. He was right when he said that it was a ruin.

"Konbanwa!"

Both miko and prince were taken aback at the sudden greeting and when they saw the same old monk walking out from behind the empty altar, astonishment and bewilderment were an understatement.

"You two again!" He smiled, albeit a little treacherously at both of them.

Sesshoumaru grabbed her hand and was about to leave when the monk asked, "Here to ask me how to break the curse?"

Kagome stopped his pull and asked back, "Can it be done?"

"The day is ending soon, come in and we can talk later, shall we?"

She did not decline the invitation, for it represented a door to his wish. He followed, because he trusted her intuition.

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"Ano..." She wanted to offer her prayers, but there was no statue of gods around at all. Dust and spiderwebs framed the empty altar that she was looking at, and Sesshoumaru scoffed at the state of it.

The monk laughed and looked into her eyes, "There is no such need to display them! The god is in _your _heart, isn't it?"

Her lips parted at his pointing bony finger; could the old monk sense the kehai of Shikon no Tama!

Sesshoumaru narrowed his eyes and asked with an unflustered face, "What do you mean?"

The monk let out another crinkled laugh before he took his seat on the floor, "If the gods do not reside in our hearts, then where would they be?"

"Yes, you are so right!" Kagome let out a breath of relief while Sesshoumaru blinked and said nothing.

"May I know how should we address you?" The miko sat on her knees and politely bowed.

The monk stroked his chin lazily, "Me? I have forgotten my name, and that is not important at all..."

"How is that even possible?" Sesshoumaru retorted mockingly, since he had lived for a thousand years and he doubted that he would be able to forget his name even for another thousand more.

"Well I don't have a good memory..." he let out that unnerving smile again, _because I go by so many names._

Kagome cleared her throat at the building ominous tension and asked, "Houshi-sama, may I know how can we break this curse?"

The monk stroked his stubbly chin again while he fixed an examining eye at said victim, who was glaring daggers back at him.

"Have you ever thought that your curse might be brought upon because of your character?" He tauntingly asked.

Sesshoumaru _really_ wished that he could take off the old cheat's head with one swipe of his youki-string; he did not have a good feeling about the monk even though he couldn't really put a finger on anything remotely suspicious.

Still, killing was not something that required a reason. Not for him at least.

"You can start off by being more polite, for example..."

Before the monk could finish his sentence, he was dragged up to his feet by his torn robes and was staring into a growling Sesshoumaru who was baring his very blunt human teeth.

Kagome gasped out loud while her face was fixed with a mortified expression, "No Sesshoumaru!"

The monk let out a choking cough and smiled, "My! You act like an untrained dog!"

And he was answered with a hard kick in his stomach, to which he landed a few feet away while Kagome dashed forward and flung her body onto his back, "No Sesshoumaru! Please!"

"Say that one more time and you won't live to see tomorrow!" Sesshoumaru threw out his threat, mentally spat at him and stormed out of the temple without Kagome.

"I'm so sorry Houshi-sama!" Kagome repeatedly apologized and bowed while trying to calm her flustered self down; she didn't expect that he would be so easily angered in his human-self.

The monk let out a pained smile with a slight frown, "Beggars apparently can be choosers now..."

"I'm sorry! Are you hurt!" Kagome dared not move forward, partly because of the monk's never-ending smiles.

"His curse is not easy to break, you'll have to help him find out why..." He wiped off the blood from the corner of his cracked mouth and guilefully continued, "And you should do something about your dreams too."

Her eyes rounded, "My... my dreams..?"

The monk smilingly nodded his head again, "The clue to the curse is in your dreams, since you have something that belongs to him you know."

Her jaws slacked open as she watched the monk slowly got up, hobbled his way back to the altar and disappeared behind it.

"Leave, perhaps we might meet again. Who knows?"

* * *

Heyo people! Chapter 5 as New Year's gift. :D 

Thank you to all my reviewers, I love, love, love you guys! Heh! Someone has asked me whether this would be a short fic and sad to say, it will be. This was something random that popped into my head and I would still like to drag myself back to writing Ten Thousand Cranes once this is over so...

Yeah. :)

I won't say anything abt the ending, but I would love it if you pple could email/review me with yr guesses abt their last secrets, or anything abt this fic since I've tried to put small, little clues here and there... it would be nice if someone could make a correct guess. Im just weird like that.

Super thanks goes out to Parsnip, who adores this fic as much as I adore her. :grins:


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6: And the bond between them starts to weaken.**

* * *

Glossary:

Baka - Idiot

Daijoubu - Are you alright?

Konnichiwa - Hello

Arashiyama - a town in Kyoto

Shikon no Tama - Jewel of Four Souls

* * *

_"Love and Doubt have never been on speaking terms."_

- Kahlil Gibran (1883 - 1931)

* * *

If there was anything that he hated most about being a human, it was worry. 

Worry was like a big, itchy mosquito bite, constantly reminding him of its presence, no matter how much he wanted to ignore it. And if he scratch it, it would only provide temporary relief while returning back with an even more hateful and vengeful itch. The loathsome thing would slowly, continuously scour his mind in and out, and rub at all his sensitive, sore spots with the _exact_ correct strength, so that he would ache and moan while feeling increasingly, supremely unhappy and unsatisfied.

Vex coupled with anxiety was worse; like a stinging mosquito bite that lingered on for weeks.

"Kagome," Sesshoumaru called out in frustration. She lifted her surprised face and turned to him, "Huh?"

He stared at the half-ate, overripe persimmon in her hands, "If you're not going to eat it, the flies will."

"Oh, I'm sorry," Kagome absentmindedly apologized and took a half-hearted bite at the soft, bright orange fruit.

He fixed her with a analysing, clinical look and wondered what was going in her head; she had been so quiet these two days and he had to admit that he was greatly worried about her. He wondered why love had to go hand in hand with worry, and many other useless, tiresome things that dragged him down and worn him out. He, being a taiyoukai once, had never given much thought to 'love' itself, for the concept of it was elusive and seemingly non-applicable to him. And even when he started to learn to love Rin, she was already dead and he had none of these cloying emotions that stuck onto him like annoying, parasitic leeches.

Wasn't love between a man and a woman, rather simple? Just a matter between two individuals, irregardless whether they were youkai or human?

It was then the Great Sesshoumaru caught himself in the loop of such thoughts. Why, he didn't even had time or effort to think about such things before! The whole incident began to look so absurd and childish that he waved it away and chomped down on another persimmon.

Until his eyes _involuntarily_ reverted back to her, and he let out a long, dramatical sigh in his mind.

He was thoroughly, completely, utterly defeated and... subdued by Kagome. It seemed to him that no amount of acquired wisdom would help at all.

Being a human was tough; few quirks and many drawbacks, he thought and plucked the fruit away from her unmoving fingers, "The monk."

Her eyes moved up to his handsome face, _I miss that crescent mark_, "What?"

He finished the fruit for her and replied in between chewing, "You are affected by the monk."

"No, it's not that," Kagome smiled, afraid that he might get to her inner thoughts and tried to snatch the fruit back.

He saw the wall she instantly erected with that faked smile of hers, and his heart twanged with hurt, "Come here."

The smile disappeared as fast as it had appeared, and the miko obediently knelt in front of him even though her eyes were fixed on his dirtied boots. He lifted up her chin, with the thought of chiding her, for keeping things from him, for not telling him her fears, for wanting to go through whatever burden she had in her mind, until he saw her eyes.

They looked ashen-gray under the filtered sunlight, and he caught his own reflection in her watery irises, which was glaring back at him.

"Kagome, are you afraid for me?"

She nodded, willing the tears not to fall from her eyes and looked down again. She was not lying; she did not know what the curse entailed, whether it was already completed, why the monk had known her dreams, whether if he knew her secret, her unexplained nightmares, the stranger-child in them, and her own secret which was like a boulder resting on her heart.

So much was going in her mind that she thought she might crumble under the weight of these hefty fears. She was very afraid, not knowing what the future might hold for them and for him if he could become a youkai again. And she dared not tell him, because he was so precious to her, so very precious and very fragile in her eyes that if all of these were a dream, she might lose her sanity and commit suicide.

And Death was indeed crouching nearby, waiting for a chance to welcome both of them into Its embrace.

The fierce look in his eyes dissolved and Sesshoumaru gently gave her cheek a light slap, "Baka."

Kagome looked up in shock; had he just... slapped her? The way she would do to Buyo years ago if he was naughty? But before she could open her mouth to say anything, his lips had swiftly descended upon hers and dazedly, she could taste the persimmon in his mouth.

It was sweet, so sweet and so overwhelming that she felt giddy when he suddenly tore away and looked into her no longer gray eyes.

"I don't care what the monk says."

She blinked, and looked back into his eyes; they were no longer golden, but the piercing, intense, haughty confidence was still there and even though he offered no words of comfort, or promises, she felt a little stronger.

_Yes, I can depend on your strength_, she let out a tear-streaked smile and nodded her head, _and I still believe in fairytales._

He wiped her tears away with his thumb, _don't cry_, and kissed her again, _you need to be strong too_.

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Sesshoumaru glared at the person who was blocking his way, "You again."

The monk half-lifted his straw hat and feigned a surprised look, "Ah, again it's the cursed boy with the lovely miko. How envious I am..."

"I didn't know that monks had worldly affections too," he threw a disdainful glance at the covetous monk and resumed his walking when he spoke again.

"It is true that we are supposed to be devoid of all emotions, but honestly, that is not possible for those who have souls right? Even you should know that..."

Sesshoumaru stopped in his tracks, half-frozen by his ambiguous statement and half-alerted by the uncanny tone in his voice, "What are you trying to say?"

The old man put down his basket of collected herbs and turned around, "I am simply stating my envy, that such a man like you can get himself such a wonderful wife... or is she not?"

"It is none of your business," the taiyoukai narrowed his eyes and gritted his teeth.

"Oh, it just seems to me so since every night you two seem to enjoy each other-" the monk's words were cut off and he let out a thinned smile at the sword that was resting on his neck. Sesshoumaru was now behind him and his nostrils flared at his insinuation.

"What's your intention on spying us! Say!"

The blade was pressed further into his skin but the monk was not worried at all, for he knew that the blade could not cut. _Still as fast as ever eh?_

"Calm down boy, I followed because of your curse," the monk replied coolly.

"I suppose dead men won't lie," Sesshoumaru threatened as he took out a small dagger from his obi and took aim at the jugular vein.

The old man's forehead creased, "Don't you want my help? I can lift the curse along with your pretty wife since-"

Sesshoumaru took one non-pitiful look at the collapsed body after he had swiftly lashed the dagger across the vein and jumped away. It would be hard to explain to Kagome if blood got onto his kimono and he gave a final kick to the writhing body before he left. No one would mock or make use of Sesshoumaru, even if he's a human now.

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_"Why?"_

Kagome took a hesitant step forward, "Who... who are you?"

The child's back stirred, _"Me...?"_

Kagome swallowed and took another cautious step forward, "Can you tell me?"

The child stopped rocking, _"Are you sure?"_

She nodded her head.

The child let out an empty, ghostly giggle, _"Me? Me? Me?"_

Kagome rubbed her cold arms and frowned; the snigger chilled her bones and something felt very wrong to her.

_"Me? Me? ME? ME! ME!"_

Shivers crawled down her spine and she felt as if her head was clamped between two big rocks; she could not move!

Then the child shrieked.

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In the dead of the night, thick, white defined smoke rose up from the dead monk's body and let out a hissing chortle before it dissipated.

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"Ah!" Kagome sat up right and panted hard. Why had the child screamed? Why did she felt so frightened this time round?

She looked to her left and right; all she could see were the long, weak shadows of the trees and the dying embers of their campfire.

Sesshoumaru was not around.

She quickly got to her feet and called out softly, "Sesshoumaru?"

No one answered.

Kagome could feel perspiration trickling down the sides of her head to her throat, "Sesshoumaru?"

Then she heard the snap of a twig and jumped around like a startled rabbit, to see him standing behind her, with only half of his face visible under the wane moonlight. Without hesitation, she wrapped her arms around his waist tightly and buried her damp face into his chest, "Oh! Where did you go?"

Sesshoumaru narrowed his eyes and replied slowly, "What's wrong?"

She shook her head and smiled in relief, "Nothing, nothing in particular."

He smoothed her long hair and closed his eyes, "Are you hiding something from me?"

She felt as if her innards had frozen in that instant he asked, "Why do you say that?"

"I met the monk, he said that you were pretty," Sesshoumaru tried to unclench his teeth.

Kagome let out a silent breath of relief and laughed out loud, "No, I'm not hiding anything, really."

He gave her the benefit of doubt and allowed himself the possibility of misguided folly; she was afterall his Kagome, the one he had put so much of his soul and faith in. She would not betray him, no matter what may happened.

She was all that he had now, and it was the same for her too, he believed.

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_"Do you want to see my face?'_

Kagome wordlessly shook her head; somehow she was not so sure whether she wanted to see the child's face. All kinds of horrible images and notions rose to her heart and she wished that Sesshoumaru could be by her side in this dream.

_"No?"_

She bit her lower lip and tried to breathe; somehow the air seemed particularly heavy tonight, as if the child was weighed down with a unnamed burden too.

"_Don't you want to know who I am anymore?"_ The child asked again, even though the rocking actions did not stop.

"I... I... why do you keep appearing in my dreams?" Kagome asked.

_"Why? ... Because it is you."_

"Me? Why?"

_"You, you are powerful," it _responded back.

She frowned, "Powerful? I don't understand..."

The child stopped rocking and for a while, the silence was so stifling that Kagome could not help but to wish that the dream would end. It was going nowhere and the child was majorly creeping her out.

_"Change. You can change, Kagome."_

"Huh?" She wondered why the child sounded so sad, "You know me!"

The child seemed to sigh, and laugh and cry at the same time. Which it was, Kagome was not sure because the child started to chant darkly.

_"You, you, you, YOU, YOU!"_

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Kagome woke up from the dream, ran to the back of their campsite and vomitted. Sesshoumaru instantly got up and silently stood behind a tree while she retched and moaned and gagged. He moved to her side and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder, "What's wrong?"

She wiped the watery vomit off the corners of her mouth, tried not to think of the dream and replied breathlessly, "I think... it's the wild fruits we ate yesterday..."

He nodded, slowly turned her around, clasped her tired face with his calloused hands, and gave her an indescribable intent look, "Kagome."

Her lips parted at the morning light that was dancing in his dark brown eyes, and she wondered whether the same pair of eyes would greet her every morning in future.

Sesshoumaru brought her head to his chest, squeezed his eyes shut and buried his nose into her hair; it was so difficult to say the three words, as if they were cursed things he should never, ever mutter. Why! He should have been killed, should have crossed the bridge, should have joined all the people who once died under his hands, should have forgotten all the worries of this world-

Yet, there he was; kneeling before her, alive and breathing and bearing both their burden on his shoulders while she prayed and feared and hoped for them. So many doubts were circling in his head, but yet he chose to ignore them.

So he simply said, "I'm here."

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He hid behind a faraway bush and saw their embrace. Oh how it disgusted and excited him at the very same time! He ran a dry tongue across his lips, and smiled at the game that was enacting itself in his head.

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"Konnichiwa!"

Kagome jumped a little at the sudden voice behind her back and turned around to return the greeting, "Konnichiwa!"

The young man bowed a little and smiled, "I'm sorry, but do you know whether this is the correct road to Arashiyama? I think I'm lost..."

She shook her head; she didn't even know where she was standing right now and Sesshoumaru was away in the nearby river bathing, "Ah no, I'm sorry that I can't help you."

He let out a small, forced laugh and shrugged his shoulders, "Oh well, I'll just have to try then... I have to get the jewel by hook or by crook..."

"Jewel? What jewel?" Kagome caught his gaze, and thought that the reflection of sunlight in his dark irises resembled black gleaming pearls. His short black hair was ruffled, as if he had not combed it for days and he had a nice, masculine jaw that reminded her of someone whom she couldn't recall.

The handsome man, who looked to be in his early twenties answered with a sad frown, "The Shikon no Tama, I need it to save my dying wife..."

Her eyes rounded considerably and she felt the jewel's tug inside her heart, "Shikon no Tama?"

He nodded, "Hn, rumours say that the Lord of the West had hidden the jewel in the mountains of Arashiyama after he killed his hanyou brother."

She felt as if her heart had been dipped in ice-cold water, "The Lord of the West killed... his younger brother...?"

He refrained from smiling and nodded again, "Hn, cruel isn't it? And not only did the Lord of the West killed his brother, he also killed his comrades; the monk, the taijiya and the kitsune I think..."

And Kagome felt as if the waters had rushed into her ears, for she could hear nothing and the image of the young man doubled and thripled before her very eyes. Cold sweat lined her eyebrows and before she knew it, she heard the smooth pleasant voice of the man into her ears and felt his warm breath caressing her neck.

"Miko-sama! Daijoubu ka!"

She weakly nodded her head while clutching onto his shoulders for support; her body felt so heavy and cold, as if it was buried deep in powdery snow. She could feel the warm, comforting breath of the young man on her neck but all that ran in her mind was that she had slept with Inuyasha's murderer.

"Kagome..." He smiled and brushed his lips across the shell of her ear, "Mine, mine..."

The young man's distant voice seemed to have turned into silvery dense fog which permeated her skull, and Kagome struggled with the heaviness that was pressing down upon her head while she somewhat tried to numb the stabbing pain in her heart. She wanted to tell herself that this wasn't true, that she had heard wrongly, that it was just another nightmare and everything would pass once she got a grip on herself.

_He lied, he lied,_ the words cruelly repeated themselves in her head and she could not cry. Guilt and anger filled her heart, along with stinging sorrow that not only could she _not_ avenge for Inuyasha, she had fallen into this trap of Fate and no matter how she tried, she would never be able to get out of the damned entangled web.

Unless she severed the string that connected her to him...

He gently laid the unconscious miko onto the ground and took off his clothes while he loosened her top and revealed her chest. Trailing a finger from her neck down to her sternum, he placed a light kiss on her lips and buried his face into the crook of her neck while taking in a long, deep breath. The scent of power, rolling forth from her was enticing, awakening and arousing in a different sort of way.

From the corner of his eye, he could see Sesshoumaru standing under the shadows of the trees like a frigid cuckolded man, and could not help but to imagine the desolated misery that would fill the rest of his days, and her days. He let out a loving smile at the seemingly asleep Kagome, placed loving kisses on her naked breast, smoothed out her frowning eyebrows, brushed her fringe aside and softly whispered.

"Come to me, Kagome. Come to me..."

And as he drew away from her, he kissed her forehead, pulled on their clothes and walked away with a languid smile on his face while he wondered what Sesshoumaru would do.

* * *

In asian myths, it is believed that there is a red string of fate that ties between a man and a woman, if they are destined to be together. 


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7: And they turned their backs to each other.**

**

* * *

**

**_"While no one was noticing, it became lost,_**

**_With a start I realized you were gone._**

**_And only memories remained._**

**_Restlessly, I could hear voiceless cries ._**

**_As if made by dolls who had lost the power of speech,_**

**_Or crowds of stray cats on street corners."_**

- Lyrics from "Arigatou" by Kokia.

* * *

Kagome did not dream. 

While she slept on, peacefully like an undisturbed rotting corpse, old memories of Inuyasha and her surfaced like small little buoyant boats. She watched them from afar on the shore of her own World, all alone with no one for company. They bobbed on gentle seas, sailing further and further away and her heart lurched every time a small wooden boat disappeared beyond the orange flat horizon.

"What are you looking at?"

She turned around, a little startled at the voice and gasped into her hand when she saw Inuyasha standing right behind her.

"Tell me I'm not dreaming," she whispered, for fear that he would vanish in a puff of smoke if she spoke louder.

Inuyasha merely smiled, and she wondered where he had gotten such a smile like that. It was so soft that the laugh lines disappeared into his face, so sad that the corners of his mouth seemed to droop, yet so happy that she could literally feel it from his eyes. She had never seen him smile like that before; so peaceful, at ease, with no underlying currents of anger, frustration or resignation at all.

"Inu... Inuyasha..." Her voice was trembling; she had hovered over the edge of mental breakdown for so long that when she finally got to see him, she was unsure of herself. Whether it was good for them to meet again, whether it was okay for he to see her in such a state, whether it was even acceptable to call out his name-

"Kagome."

Her resolve on holding back that dam of tears whittled away at his voice; so young, so strong, so fleeting. So she buried her face into her hands as she wailed and bawled like a hungry baby, lest he might see the lines around the corners of her eyes. And she dared not lean onto his shoulder, for she was also afraid that he might not be solid and she might fall face-down, into the cruel pit of Reality.

So when he gently pried her hands away from her tear-streaked, worry-lined face, she sniffed hard and looked astounded into that familiar pair of warm, golden eyes. They were so telling and transparent, and even though she could not see her reflection in his clear irises, her heart convulsed at the unavoidable pangs of guilt that heaved up within her chest. So much so that she wanted to confess there and then; that she had slept with his elder half-brother, that she fell in love with his murderer, that she was now carrying his child and Sesshoumaru knew nothing about it. Kagome wanted his acceptance even though she was tainted, wanted his forgiveness even though she knew that she deserved none, and hoped that he would not turn her away like a used prostitute or traitor.

But Inuyasha said nothing. He merely caressed her cheek with the back of his fingers, and let out another sad smile as he brushed away her big, rolling tears.

"I.. I..." Kagome cried again, this time silently because her sins weighed down on her chest like frozen slabs of ice.

"Ssshhh..." Inuyasha pulled her to him and wrapped his arms around her shoulders, "Don't cry, Kagome..."

And she cried harder, because it was Inuyasha who was comforting her, not the father of her child, and she was not worthy at all to receive such kindness from him. Kagome could feel the texture of his coarse silver hair on her cheeks, could feel his firm muscular chest, and knew that even though he had not changed, she had. Now that he was standing right before her very eyes, hugging her like before, she felt oddly alienated and strange as if this outer skin was not hers.

"I... I'm not the old Kagome anymore..." she cringed at her own words.

He rested his chin on her head and let out a light, light laugh, "I know."

She dared not look up, and fisted in his fire-rat haori, "You don't know."

Inuyasha laughed again, this time louder, "You are so stubborn, and you haven't changed in this aspect you know."

She smiled a little, a bitter one, hidden in the folds of his haori and remembered that Sesshoumaru said the exact same thing to her once too. A lump rose in her throat, so hard that she wanted to spit it out for it was slowly cutting off her air and she wanted nothing more than to remain in his warm, open embrace. Perhaps things would take a better turn if she pretended that nothing had happened between Sesshoumaru and her, and if, she continued to stay in his embrace, perhaps she might be able to go with Inuyasha beyond the end of the Borders.

"Kagome, believe."

"Believe...?" She frowned, all thoughts of her leaden confessions, self-condemnation and selfish wishes lost to the windless zephyr that swept past their bodies. What did he meant by 'believe'? In who? In what? Why?

Inuyasha somberly nodded and closed his eyes, "Hn, believe."

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"Sesshoumaru-sama!"

He looked up, and saw Rin bounding towards him like an over-excited puppy.

"Look look!" She twirled around and he could see the white and yellow daises that were carefully woven into her messily bunched up hair. "Do I look pretty!"

He gave a bored nod and returned to his scroll, purposefully ignoring her disappointed face which meant that she had not gotten enough attention from him. Sometimes he wondered whether he should marry her off, now that she was already eighteen and almost (but never quite in his eyes) a full grown woman. But yet a part of him was reluctant; for he did enjoy her presence, although she sometimes bordered on being nosy and irritating as well. He was not sure how well she would adapt to the villagers, but he was pretty certain that she would get bullied if he was not around.

Rin practically lived off him, in all imaginable ways and he had no idea how she would survive alone. It was definitely difficult to imagine her as a wife, and harder still as a mother. She was like a stunted child herself, and it was exactly this rare, sweet innocence of hers that allowed her to remain by his side until today.

"Sesshoumaru-sama," she skipped to his back and wrapped her arms around his neck, "I am bored."

He frowned a little; Rin may have the mentality of a child, but she had the body of a grown woman and it disturbed him greatly whenever she flung herself onto him like that, without any reservations. Not that he disliked it, but it was simply inappropriate and indecent and the niggering suspicion that Rin adores him in a very _wrong_ way hung at the back of his mind like a half-closed curtain.

"Rin."

The woman-child untangled her arms from her lord and pouted a little, "Rin is upset."

He closed his eyes and let out a long sigh, "I've been searching for a family for you."

"Family? What family?" Her lips quivered at the thoughts that her lord might chase her out from his house.

He put down the scroll, motioned for her to sit down properly before him and continued, "You'll need to marry."

"Rin doesn't want that!" She covered her ears and shook her head violently.

He knew that such a thing would happen, and he also knew that he would have to force her. Rin was too dependent on him, and if he allowed this to continue, she would never leave him and he was not sure whether he wanted her to stay by his side forever. He had many reasons for wanting her to leave, and so he continued with his jaw set grimly and his eyes cold and hard.

"You are not in a position to say anything."

The woman-child's jaw slacked as she stared blankly at him, "Sesshoumaru-sama... Rin loves you very much, Rin wants to stay by your side forever-"

"Did you not hear what I say? Leave the room," he felt a tick in his heart but ignored it and returned to his scroll.

Tears rolled down her cheeks, she couldn't believe that her lord would turn her away; was she not good enough for him? Was she not obedient enough for him? Or was it because she was a human and her body and youth would not last as long as her lord's? She got to her feet, knelt beside him and started to disrobe.

His lips parted at what his human ward was doing, and his hand instantly shot out to halt her, before she bared her virgin breasts to him, "Rin!"

She gave a heart-breaking, tear-filled smile and bowed her head, "My lord, Rin will do anything for you, as long as you keep her by your side."

He could only stare in shock as she continued to take off the layers of her kimono, one by one until she pressed her naked body against him and whispered into his ear, "Rin loves Sesshoumaru-sama very, very much..."

He could feel her soft, hot body rubbing against his willing one tantalizingly, and even though his mind and conscience protested against it, he had been deprived of such pleasures for such a long time that he was not sure of how to react. And as she started to remove his kimono and placed seductive kisses on his neck, he struggled to piece his incoherent, losing mind together even though his hands began to wander down her smooth, arched back, over her slender hips and her thin legs.

Before he knew it, he was also naked saved for the loin cloth and by that time, he had long decided that he needed Rin more than honour. As he buried his face in between her soft, supple breasts, sucking and teasing her, a part of his mind warned him that this was very wrong but the small voice was being overshadowed by the carnal desires and nature of his youkai as Rin moaned and squirmed ever so delectably in his lap.

And after he'd taken her, violently and hurriedly, guilt crashed upon him in angry waves as he stared at the dark blood that coated their thighs and nether regions. He was so infuriated with himself; at his loss of control, at his terribly folly and at her stolen innocence that he let out a horrible growl and shouted.

"LEAVE!"

At that very night, poor Rin was so confused and so hurt by his unintentional words that she left the grounds of her shelter dressed in nothing but her thin, bloodied yukata. By the time he found her, he could only see her head lying on the winter grounds with the shredded pieces of her soiled yukata.

And a part of his heart died, although the weight of his sins did not decrease.

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She slowly lifted her heavy eyelids, but made no noise because she knew that Sesshoumaru was sitting behind her, behind that tree she was leaning on which separated him from her in the way she felt it had always existed between them. A space, a small barrier that had always stood in between them no matter how much they desired or tried to reach to each other. It seemed such an easy task, that if she just stretch her arms, over the non-dimensional margin, she would be able to touch and bring him to her.

But now she understood why.

The chasm between them was never meant to be reachable or traversable; and there was no real reason for it. It was just meant to be.

Kagome cupped her face and breathed heavily. What did Inuyasha wanted her to believe in? That she could bridge the gap between Sesshoumaru and her eventually? That she should believe in him, and not doubt him? Or that she should overlook the fact that he was _his_ murderer even though she loved he and him?

Did Inuyasha knew that believing was a very, very hard thing to do? Something that she had never quite grasp it?

She lifted her fingers to where his knuckles had touched her cheek, and wondered why he had chosen this time to appear before her. Was that a sign that she should go home? That he had untied the seemingly dead knot in her heart and she no longer needed to remain in his era? But surely he knew of the other knot in her heart, did he not?

Kagome bit her lower lip and frowned; Inuyasha was always so _impossible_, even when he was dead. Never giving her an answer, just telling her what to do and expecting her to follow his instructions.

_"Hn, believe."_

A soothing breeze lifted her face up, and as she rested her head against the hindering _tree_, she rested a hand on her belly and silently wept.

And even then, the expanse between them would not melt away like snow upon spring.

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His eyes jerked open with a start as a fallen leave brushed past the tip of his nose.

Sesshoumaru pressed his palm to his pounding heart as he waited for the blood-curdling shrieks and screams to fade off in his ears even though he never really heard it on that night. Her body had been dragged by the wild wolves for such a long distance that it hurt his eyes to follow the bright blood trail. By the time he had found her severed head, her face had so many gashes and one of her eyeballs was almost gouged out. He bunched up her dead hair, cut it with his claws and buried her head under the snow.

He lifted his hands up as her soft humming laughter began to replace the screaming; he could see her virginal blood, coated on his fingertips, stained on his palms, crusted and dark under his fingernails. He recalled the pained look when he entered her, the tears in her eyes as she let out an assuring smile at him after the sex, and the blood.

So much of it; on his thighs, on the floor, on her kimono. The scent of it, so enraging, so overwhelming, so defiling-

He clenched his jaws and blinked.

_Her_ blood had disappeared, and his eyelids drooped with his hands as he thought of the white and the yellow daises in her hair. She did look pretty with them, and he regretted not telling her. He never should have sated his desires using her, should have married her off, shouldn't have let her enter his heart, should have been more firm with her...

A thousand and one regrets and burdens layered themselves over his heart, and he wondered when they would fall off. And if they did, if the layers peel off one by one like a brilliant yellow chrysanthemum, gone with the wind, would he feel naked and small and still regretful? Would he be able to cry, like a normal human being now that he was one?

Sesshoumaru closed his eyes while a summer breeze blew from his back and the tassels from Tenseiga's hilt skimmed across his knuckles. He ran his fingers lightly through the black and silver hair, and frowned as he kept his eyes tightly shut.

He wondered if Rin would be able to hear his unsaid apologies. And if she did, would she forgive him? Or would she hold it against him forever? Or would she simply smile and ask when he would return from his nameless journeys?

Sesshoumaru forcibly pushed back the lump in his throat and lowered his head, _I can never love you the way you want me to, Rin._

And _she_ wept at the back of his mind.

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"You are awake."

Kagome wiped her tears away with the back of her hand and nodded.

Sesshoumaru held the lock of _their_ hair tightly in his hands and narrowed his eyes, "What happened this morning?"

"This morning?" She asked back, her mind still fuzzy from her surreal encounter with Inuyasha.

There was silence. Suppressed silence.

"There was a young man, he asked me for directions and..." her voice trailed off, not sure whether she wanted to continue for she hadn't made up her mind in regards to their relationship. Perhaps she should heed Inuyasha, and forgive and forget for humans err.

He clenched his jaw so hard and so long that he felt his human teeth and gum would give way soon if he did not speak, "Is that it?"

She rested her face in her right hand with her eyes shut while her left hand laid over her still-flat belly, "Hn."

He decided that his nails would soon break too, if he did not release his fists, "Kagome, what do you hate most?"

She answered without any hesitation, "Lies."

He wanted to snort at her, wanted to stab through her heart with Tenseiga, wanted to cut off a lock of her hair with his dagger, "Do you know what I hate most?"

Kagome's eyebrows arched up in faint surprise; something was not quite right.

"Betrayals. I normally behead my traitors," Sesshoumaru got to his feet and walked off.

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They parted ways that very day, both not seeking any explanations or resolutions.

She thought that it was for the better, and the inevitable.

He thought that it was expected, and that he had been too kind.

That very night, they both heard the cries of a little girl in their sleep. It was haunting, heart-breaking and unforgettable at the same time.

She wondered if it was her child. He wondered if it was Rin.

And they could not sleep well, no matter how they tried.

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Kagome sneezed; the days were getting colder and the leaves were starting to turn into shades of orange and red. Autumn would arrive soon and she did not have enough clothing on her back to ward against the chill. She lifted her hand to shade her eyes from the sun and looked up.

It seemed that she hadn't got very far on her own, and she wondered how many days it would take to return back to the Bone Eater's Well.

That damned, cursed well.

Sudden thoughts of Inuyasha peering down the well in irritation, of Inuyasha holding her hands tightly while they traveled back to and fro, of Miroku and Sango and Shippou wanting to jump into the well with her, gushed back like an unstoppable, unwanted wave of stinging sea waters.

Along with the memory of Sesshoumaru, with his back to her while he was surrounded by ookami-youkai. And then how she had saved him by chance, how he had saved her from the lake-youkai, how they discreetly poured their souls to each other, how they fucked each other in hurt and pain, how they made love to each other and gave their hearts, while secretly wishing that Time would stop and they would always be together in relative freedom and happiness...

And how he had left her, silently under the tree without another word.

Her legs gave way and as she sat amidst the scratchy, dry grass blades, Kagome tried telling herself that it was the hormones; it was the child inside her womb that was affecting her and after a big, fulfilling cry, she would feel much better and lighter. But the deepening, gnawing emptiness would not budge no matter how much or long she cried. She figured that one day, it would swallow her up whole, inside out and she would be locked inside that burning, lock-less cage until she went mad or die.

She hugged herself and cried, and cried and cried. Until she thought that her throat would tear, her eyes would bleed and her nose would split. Yet her heart wouldn't die, and she told herself that this was no good; no good for the unborn child, no good for her health, no good for her poor eyes.

But she still could not stop her tears, and a part of her mind was amazed at her ability to cry, as if she was crying for years of sadness, loneliness, and for her unborn, fatherless child.

"Don't cry."

Kagome opened her swollen, red eyes to see a piece of delicate handkerchief dangling before her pale face.

She looked up, and thought that the man standing before her looked very familiar. He was dressed in an expensive-looking burgundy kimono that had plain white plum blossoms adorning his left shoulder. His face was long and sharp, but with a soft edge to it, and had such young-looking skin that for a moment, she was not sure whether he was a female or not.

"Take this," he lowered himself down and thrust the handkerchief into her limp hand, "Wipe your face."

His voice was definitely masculine; smooth, deep yet light at the same time. His eyes were slanted, his lips thin and his nose high and sharp. Kagome wondered where she had seen this handsome face before, and dried her tears with his handkerchief.

"Thank you," her brittle voice croaked like an old hag's.

The man smiled, one corner of his lips higher than the other one, and replied, "You need to sleep..."

Her eyes drifted shut, and as her head tilt forwards into the crook of his neck, he smiled again.

* * *

Finally. :) 

Their secrets are out. Kagome is pregnant with Sesshoumaru's child, and Sesshoumaru had consensual sex with Rin...

What will happen next time? Stay tune folks:D


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8: And things get worse and worse.  
**

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_**"Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, nor hell a fury like a woman scorned."**_

- William Congreve (1670 - 1729)

* * *

_"You are back..." _The child let out a light giggle.

Kagome opened her eyes, but she could not see anything. She was standing, on something that felt solid and yet not, and there was no light. The place was so dark, the blackness seemed to eat into her eye sockets and for a while, she wondered whether she still had her eyes. Fingers reaching up to her face, she could feel the concave surface of her eyeballs, yet she was as blind as she could ever imagine.

_"You can't see?"_ The child's tone sounded disappointed.

Kagome nodded; she did not feel so afraid this time round.

_"What a pity..."_ The child let out a soft sigh.

"Why?" She asked while she rubbed her arms; it still felt as cold as before, although the child seemed rather normal today.

_"Is it cold here? Would you like to see?" _The child answered with a question.

Kagome thought for a while; she was no longer with Sesshoumaru and the dreams should have ended. She did not understand why the child reappeared and pushing back that smidgen of fear; she nodded because she was curious to know who the child was.

Before she could say anything, a pair of small hands held hers and her lips parted at the contact; the grip was gentle and soft, but icy-cold.

_"Don't be scared, ne?"_ The child smiled, and Kagome could feel the illogical warmth of it despite the cold hands, which was odd yet reassuring in a nice way.

_"Can you see me now?"_

Kagome blinked, and the darkness melted away instantaneously, as if someone had lifted up the veil over her head and grayness flooded her field of sight along with a child's face. At first, it looked a bit blurry but as she blinked again, the features began to define further and then she gasped.

"Rin!"

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Despite the scorching overhead sun, Sesshoumaru did not stop walking.

He walked, and walked and walked. The muscles in his legs and back were aching and burning, his whole body was covered in a never-drying film of perspiration, and the sound of insects was buzzing so loud in his ears; yet he refuse to stop.

On and on his feet carried him forward to his destination, to the place where he had been turned into a human. Perhaps he could find some clues to how the curse had been laid on him and the people who had done it. He tried to occupy his mind with such things, tried to focus on the goal that he might be able to reverse or lift the curse and if that happened, he would restore his clan and kingdom and do many, many things that he had not done before.

He veered off his course to a nearby stream and squatted as he refreshed himself and quenched his thirst. The water was cooling to his parched throat, yet there was this feverish sensation at the back of his eyes that would not subside. He shook his head and squeezed his eyes shut; willing the vexing, pathetic emotion to go away.

When he opened his eyes, the first thing he saw was his own reflection; clear and sharp in the bluish stream.

His eyes were large and slanted, his nose was sharp and high, his cheekbones were prominent and defined, his lips were thin and tight, and his jaws were firmly set against his oval face. There was no crescent moon on his forehead, no maroon stripes that slashed across his cheeks nor rimmed his eyes. His once beautiful silver mane was now stubbornly dark brown, and very messy and clumpy.

And he thought, _she loves me, this 'me'._

Sesshoumaru slapped away his reflection and fumed. He would not think about that bitch; he would not, he would not-

_"Tell me a secret,"_ her voice rung melodiously in his ears, as if it was only yesterday that she asked him this question.

Secrets, so many secrets they had exchanged. Yet they are still as far from each other as they were in the beginning.

He never knew that a human heart was _this_ useless; it was twisting and thrashing, hankering and hungering for the one person that he wanted to hate. For the woman he once thought he could spend the rest of his human years with, if he was unable to reverse the curse. He had also once thought himself fortunate in a way, to be able to meet her, to gain her faith and her love-

_I should have killed her,_ the image of that man caressing her breast came to his mind and his reflection glared back at him.

Sesshoumaru clenched his fists and decided that the one good thing that came out from this overflow of abundant human emotions was anger. It gave him an extra burst of energy to continue on with a re-focused mind on what he would and would not do in the future. He rose to his feet and combed his fingers through the long lock of thick hair that hung at the end of Tenseiga's hilt while adrenalin pumped through his veins like fire and ice on earth.

_Her life is mine, eventually._

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The little girl nodded her head and flashed another of her sunshine smiles, although it was tainted with something else that Kagome couldn't quite recognize. Rin looked exactly as before, with her short messy hair and large watery eyes while she continued to hold her hands. Kagome wanted to ask Rin why and what she was doing in her dreams when something happened.

Right before her very eyes, Rin's face started to change; her face became sharper, her hair longer and neater, her ruddy complexion became smooth and porcelain-like, and her body taller and more filled out.

"Rin..."

_"This is the grown up me,"_ Rin smiled shyly at the pregnant miko whose eyes briefly lingered on her belly.

"Grown up...?" Kagome repeated her words, not sure why little Rin was going through the transformation and stared at her open-mouthed as her kimono changed into a prettier one.

Rin nodded, _"This is my world... I go through this everyday..."_

A shudder ran down Kagome's spine; something was not right, "Rin, why? Why are you here? Why am I here?"

_"Why?"_ Rin giggled, but it sounded so heavy and sad that Kagome no longer found it cheerful or genial. She wanted to pull her hands away, but Rin was still clutching hers, not too tightly but firmly.

_"Because I hate you."_

The hairs on the back of Kagome's neck stood on end, and she swallowed as Rin's face started to transform again, "Hate... hate me?"

Rin gave her long hair a wild shake, and revealed her teeth while the corners of her mouth twisted upwards, _"Jealous, I am very jealous!"_

Kagome struggled hard, but her hands were in a death-grip and it seemed that the more she tried, the tighter the grip became. Her heart was thumping so hard that she found it a little hard to breathe. "Rin! Let me go!"

Horrible gashes started to appear on her face, blood stained her pearly white teeth and her kimono was getting torn by invisible hands and Kagome could hear dreadful, ghastly animalistic growls while her hands sweated and trembled.

_"Why! Why does he love you, not me! Why did he chase me away? Why? After I gave myself to him! Why! WHY!"_

Kagome squeezed her eyes shut, yet she still could see Rin shouting into her face while teeth marks appeared on her bloodied face and chunks of flesh disappeared down the throats of unseen beasts. She quickly covered her face, for Rin's severed hands had fallen onto the floor and her floating decapitated head glared at her, her eyeless sockets filled with burning hatred and vengeance and jealousy.

_"No, Sesshoumaru-sama is mine! Mine, mine, MINE! He shan't have you! No, no, NO!"_

Kagome screamed as loud as she could.

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His head jerked forward with his mouth gaping open for breath while beads of perspiration dotted his forehead.

Someone had screamed, so loudly that he could feel the sound-waves bouncing off and against the inner walls of his skull. It gave him a splitting headache, and he thought the scream sounded familiar. A fat droplet of rain splashed onto the end of his nose and that broke his train of thoughts.

Sesshoumaru looked around and realized that he had fallen asleep against the tree while waiting for the rain to stop. It was a weird rain, one without thunders or lightnings but it was heavy, so heavy and thick that it was still raining by the time he woke up. His kimono clung onto him in crumpled patches and his human hair was sticky, matted and clumpy too. With childlike amazement, he stretched out a hand and watched how the rainwater collected in his palm, trickled down his hands and fell off the crevices in between his fingers.

Somehow, the rainwater didn't seem to dribble off her chin the same way it did to his hand. It was rather different, he clearly remembered. While he was thrusting into her like a man half-gone in his head under the pitter-patter of the rain on his back, the image of raindrops sliding off from her chin, down her throat and in between her fair, gleaming breasts, was mesmerizing and vivid.

It was so enchanting, so captivating, so hypnotizing that he had paused for a while, and she took that chance to flip their bodies over while he was still deep inside her. And while she rested her forehead against his, with her wet hair framing her oval face, he thought she looked like a goddess. A glowing, golden goddess who was humping him madly like there were no tomorrows, and while his eyes were fixed on the curves of her glorious bouncing breasts, he wondered how life would be like if they had a child.

A child like Rin, perhaps.

But.

Sesshoumaru shook the damned thoughts out of his mind and resumed his walk, even though the remorseless torrential rains continued like knives perniciously scraping down his back.

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Her eyes flipped open like switches and she gasped as she tried to breathe and cry at the same time.

Was it true? Her dreams and what Rin had told her? It seemed so surreal that she was not sure whether it was just a figment of her imagination even though some part of her told her that it wasn't. She couldn't believe it; Sesshoumaru had fucked Rin, the girl who adored him like god and had chosen to leave her human life behind to pursue him. Did he force himself on her? Or was it consensual? What had exactly happened?

Questions bombarded her mind like ruthless, unstoppable bullets and she struggled to ward them off. On the other hand, the knowledge that they had sex disgusted and disconcerted her badly. He didn't tell her that he had deflowered his ward, and the reason why he had withheld that information from her was like a dagger that lodged itself permanently in her heart. Why couldn't he be honest with her? Why did he even do that in the first place? But he was so remorseful, so in pain when he recounted his guilt and regrets towards Rin to her, that Kagome was no longer sure what was what anymore.

So many loopholes, so little details, and so much, so much hurt hung between her and him.

It was then, that Kagome realized that she did not understand the youkai-Sesshoumaru at all. Her comprehension of his character was limited to his human side, and it saddened her very much because an important part of him was forever lost to her, which was probably the barrier that separated her from him. Like two people trapped in two different yet adjacent worlds, filled with dusty mirrors at all angles, and both desperately trying to look for each other through their reflections, wondering which one would be the real person.

And he would not break his mirrors, because Sesshoumaru wanted to remain in his world, after all. Just like Inuyasha and his desire to become a full-blooded youkai, and Kagome couldn't understand why.

She wanted to cry, because she was also trapped in her own world and no matter how many mirrors she was willing to smash for him, she knew that she would never reach him unless he wished for it. And she was no longer sure of anything anymore now that he had left her with nothing but their child in her womb. Kagome was so afraid too, because she was so very alone with no pillars of mental nor emotional support.

_I shouldn't have jumped into the well,_ the words repeated themselves in her head when she heard a soft sigh. Her eyes flitted around, wanting to make sure that the dead Rin had not followed her, when she realized that she was in a room with only one expiring candlelight on the table.

And her hands were tied to the back of a wooden chair that she was sitting on.

Defense and survival instincts rose up so quickly that it threw her off tangent momentarily as she struggled to recall what had happened before she was brought here. Her mind and mouth seemed to be swathed in cotton and as she strove to speak, a person stepped into view.

"Thinking about old times, Kagome-_sama_?"

She drew in a sharp breath of air, and could recognize the handsome looking man who had given her his handkerchief under the wane yellow candlelight.

"Who- who are you?" Her voice trembled.

He smiled again, and she wanted to tear his mouth for that, "Don't you recognize me... at all?"

She stared hard at him, and for the longest while as her brain neurons worked doubly hard, she gasped out loud as that imaginary light bulb lit up in her head.

The smile, _that_ unnerving smile.

"You- you are the monk, and... and that young man who got lost... Who, who are you!" Kagome wrestled hard with the binding rope and tried not to show her fear, unsuccessfully though.

He grinned a little and pliantly continued, "Ah you have noticed, not too stupid my dear Kagome-sama."

She flinched at the way he called her name; his voice was like oil and water together.

"But, we have business here. No more dilly-dallying, no, no more of that. I have waited long enough, and even though I hadn't expected you to come back, but its good news for me. Bonus, if you get what I mean," the man tossed his long hair back and let out another lazy smile.

Kagome frowned and narrowed her eyes, "What are you talking about! You cursed Sesshoumaru, didn't you! Who the hell are you!" The chair stomped angrily, but her wrists were still tightly bound.

The man stepped forward, turned around and disrobed. She wanted to squeeze her eyes shut, for fear that he might rape her but when he swept his hair forwards over his shoulders, something caught her eye.

It was small, and even though the light in the room was not bright, there was no doubt about it.

There was a small spider-like scar on his spine, and all coherent thoughts flew out from her mind instantaneously.

"Naraku", she mouthed hoarsely, and all of her energy seem sapped out with that utterance.

* * *

Did I break your brain? 

I am not twisted, it just seems to me that this will happen if Rin grows up beside the ever-unchanging Sesshoumaru. And yes, Naraku is one big fucking bastard here. I mean, there must be a big villain in every fic right?

Early update because I feel like it. :)


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9: And the identify of the mastermind is revealed.**

* * *

_**"... badness is only spoiled goodness."**_

- C.S. Lewis, excerpt from 'Mere Christianity'.

* * *

Kagome felt as if all the light in her world had died out. Her one-time nemesis, the one who had almost killed her and her friends, was currently standing right before her very eyes and pulling on his loose yukata while a gleeful smile bounded at the corners of his glinting eyes. 

"Naraku..." She wished that this was a nightmare, and nothing else. She did not dare to imagine the evil plans that he had concocted in his head, and quivered at the very possible torture and torment that he would inflict on her and Sesshoumaru.

"Yes, but I have many names, none of which is important to you as much as my chosen Name," he bared his teeth a little and thought of how he would slowly drag the miko down the steps of Hell.

Her head slumped forward; she wanted to stand up to the evil guy, to show that she was not afraid of him for she had the Shikon no Tama in her even though she had no idea how to yield the power. But the loss of Sesshoumaru, the burden of her unborn child, the fact that Rin had revealed more than she could bear in her dreams, was crushing her spirit that no amount of fairy tales in her bookshop could give her the strength that she needed to pick herself up.

Not to mention that it was Naraku, who was the obvious mastermind behind all of these. Oh what had she gotten herself into! Would history repeat itself again? She felt as if her whole life was hung upon this rusty, persisting nail called Onigumo, and that the after-effects of his depraved, unrequited love for Kikyou spilled over into her present life, ruining and finishing in a full vicious circle. Despair was not even enough to describe what she was feeling.

He pulled another chair, sat like an undeclared king before her and licked his dry lips, "Now that you are here, do you want to know why?"

Kagome did not answer; she knew that he just wanted to derive sick pleasure from her yet she could not prevent it as much as she could prevent her mind from falling into the deep, dark gutters.

Naraku let out a small controlled breath at the strength that he was gaining just by being near her; the power of the Shikon no Tama was so delicious and ...

_Tantalizing._

"I suppose that impossible girl has told you, all that _he_ didn't tell you, in the dreams?"

Rin, Naraku was talking about _Rin_. The blood in her veins seemed to freeze; what had he done to her?

He rolled his eyes a little as he grew stronger and stronger feeding on the power waves rolling forth from the miko, "Her soul is weak, too weak. But her hatred and jealousy, were enough for me to feed on until I started to absorb other souls. Ah the beauty and sweetness of human debauchery and perversion..."

At the back of her mind, unbidden strength slowly rose up; he had used Rin. She was angry, very angry.

"Nothing is bad you know, Kagome. It's only spoiled goodness, and goodness in all forms are good for me," Naraku hissed.

"Its too bad... that Sesshoumaru had used you the way he had done to the little girl... but aren't men, all like that? I must admit that I'm not very different from him, since I do place myself before others too..." he continued.

"It's not true," Kagome closed her eyes, not wanting to see the smirk on his face and continued tonelessly, "You're only trying to drive a wedge in between us, I won't fall into it. Im not the old Kagome-"

Naraku tongued his teeth, "Say what you like, the facts are staring into your face and if you believe otherwise, feel free to."

She wanted to cut off his tongue, so badly that she bit on her own. Now she knew why Inuyasha had asked her to believe.

"Poor girl... thinking about her youkai lord, so intently and possessively even when she was dead and wandering on earth... One can only imagine how she felt when I showed her how he whispered sweet nothings into your ear and fucked you in wide open-"

"SHUT UP!" Kagome shouted and her blood boiled yet curdled at the same time.

His smile twisted into something else and he continued, "He brought this upon himself, and it's the same for you too. Humans, with their endless needs and puny strength... and you don't even have your arrows with you, so sad!"

She could not imagine her bright, pink spirit-filled hamaya anymore; Sesshoumaru had hurt Rin, Rin had hurt her, and she had hurt him back. How could things get so wrong?

"You'll give me the Shikon no Tama, because you'll want to save him."

Kagome looked up and thought of the chaos that would come if he got his filthy hands on the jewel again. She couldn't possibly allow him-

"When the useless girl cursed him, it was with a malicious intent, surely it's obvious enough?"

When she did not respond, he happily continued, "Seven and seven and seven times, she cursed him over and over and over again. Do you know what that means?"

She merely glared at him; he took that as a no.

"Three hundred and forty three times, she wrapped her curse around him, with my help of course... And as she undergoes through the same number of cycles, to be resurrected and die again and again in me, his humanity would eventually be taken away from him too. Do you know what that means?"

Her lips parted at his abject cruelty; she was sure that the real Rin, the un-warped part of her soul was weeping for her foolish mistakes.

"Yes my dear Kagome, your Sesshoumaru will simply turn into a senseless animal, with a human body as an outer shell and nothing else. Isn't that so deserving of him? He who had trampled others under his feet, he who had killed your friends and Inuyasha, you all who had split up my soul into so many parts that I no longer could return to my former self? Unless... " His voice trailed off purposefully.

Kagome could cry, but her tear glands had dried up. She could not think straight anymore.

"But you'll save him, no matter what had happened... unless your love for him is as weak as that little girl in me..." Naraku drawled on tauntingly.

She slumped into her chair, all her righteous anger disappearing at the inevitable, coming calamity. She was so confused, yet one part of her mind was very clear, because she believed Inuyasha. She never doubted her hanyou before, ever. She thanked God for the only seemingly strong anchor in her mind, and that was Inuyasha's parting words; she would believe in Sesshoumaru, she would try.

Although that didn't mean that the hurt would disappear like magic. What's done could not be undone, and the only thing she could do for herself was to forget, and to let go. But it seemed so difficult, so impossible and she wondered whether she could really face Sesshoumaru and pretended that nothing ever happened at all, anymore.

So she asked, despite that she knew the answer in a weak, faltering voice, "What do you want?"

Naraku smiled again, he wanted everything; her torture, his torment, the jewel and many more. But it would be good to give her some useless, pitiful hope, since he was not an unkind person.

_Just a good man gone spoiled_, he thought and replied, "You'll get to see him. I can assure you of that."

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"Rin!" Kagome cried out when she saw the young girl sprawled on the ground with dark blood pooling in between her legs. Her long, black hair was disheveled and she was as naked and white as the moon she saw on that summer night she met Sesshoumaru.

She smiled helplessly at the elder woman and whispered weakly, _"I can't help myself anymore..."_

The miko ran and ran, but her legs did not seem to carry her forward at all, "It's alright Rin! Just keep reaching out to me, I'm not afraid of you!"

The corners of her large, soul-less eyes turned downwards and away as she rolled onto her side and crouched inwards, "_Go away... I feel ashamed when you are here..."_

Kagome did not stop running, for something exploded in her mind like fireworks in the jet-black skies, "Rin! I know how I can get you away from him!"

She turned her young, changing face to her and growled like a beast, _"HOW!"_

Kagome flinched a little at her sudden-manly voice and wept, "I'm sorry Rin, I'm sorry... it's all my fault..."

The dying Rin's face softened a fraction at her apologies, _"I don't want to hurt Sesshoumaru-sama... but I can't help myself anymore..."_

"You can, you can!" Kagome brushed away her weightless thin tears, "You love Sesshoumaru-sama as much as I do, right? Rin?"

The young Rin, with her sideway ponytail glanced over her shoulders and started to walk away as she hung her head down. Her transformations were getting faster and faster and Kagome wondered how many more times Rin would have to die before Sesshoumaru's sanity and life gave out.

"I can give you something to hold on to! Don't go Rin! Don't do this anymore, Naraku is using you to hurt him!" Kagome shouted desperately as the space before her tumbled and twisted away in a spiral.

And just before a dark, solid wall hurriedly clamped down between them, she saw her slightly-shocked face turning around to meet her eyes for that split second. When Kagome woke up, she knew that she had found a seam in the curse, although her heart still throbbed painfully at the sight of broken Rin and everything else running in her head.

Nothing would be able to heal the wounds in her heart, and Kagome tried hard not to think of Kikyou, who had nothing to hold on to other than hurt and pain and everything else dark and negative.

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Naraku woke up with a angry jolt and cursed, and cursed and cursed; Rin, Sesshoumaru, Kagome, Inuyasha, Kikyou...

The cycles sped forward like a bicycle wheel without its restraining chain and he tightened his fists as he sent Rin into a torture-frenzy. He would not lose to Kagome, no matter what.

He had waged much on this. Revenge would be his.

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_"Sesshoumaru-sama..."_

The once Youkai Prince froze in his tracks; _that_ voice brought a jolt of aching heartache through his very old heart.

_"Rin is sorry..."_

He swiveled around, with a shocked look on his face as he stared at his once living human ward. She was standing there all alone, amidst the early morning fog, under the dark canopy of trees in her cream yukata that she had worn before she died. Her hair was loose, draping all over her shoulders and he noticed that she was bare-footed.

He said out loud the first thought that came to his mind, "Rin, sandals. You cannot walk around bare-foot." To which, she smiled sadly at him and nodded her head. The bluish morning light cast an unearthly glow on her pale, thin face and he recalled the rosy cheeks that she once had every time she blushed around his presence.

Sorrow and woe and grief filled his throat up so quickly, choking him and as he fell to his knees silently under the weight of his past sins, he whispered hoarsely, "I'm sorry, Rin... I'm sorry..."

But she heard his apology, and that broke one big, heavy chain that had bound itself around her soul for so long.

_"Rin cannot stay here for long Sesshoumaru-sama..."_ she paused for a while and timidly lowered her face, _"Do... do you love me?"_

The youkai lord lifted his tear-streaked face and looked at her for what seemed like eternity as he pondered over her question. The dim light was gradually getting brighter and he could see how white and fragile her skin was with the blue veins running beneath it. Time was running out for her, and he knew it; "As a child, Rin. I love you as my child."

Her white lips parted at his honest answer, feeling so heartbroken and relieved that she cried and smiled at the same time. But her ghostly tears would not fall in the human world, _the world that she was not allowed to stay in anymore_, and she knelt and bowed her head.

_"Rin is sorry, Rin cannot bring herself to part from you my lord..."_

He did not understand what she was talking about, but it did not matter to him. He was glad that he could see her again, "It's alright Rin, you can stay by my side forever if you want, if you want..."

Tears and emotions smothered his words and he could not go on anymore; the wheels in his head were turning back so fast, so hasty, so abrupt that he could feel the burning friction of it. And like a flung-opened rotting scroll, images of Rin growing up, blossoming into a fine young woman, her love for him unconsciously revealed in her everyday actions, her joyous laughter and cries, her screaming and quarrels with Jaken, her desperate calls for his attention, increasing desires for reciprocated love back-

_"Sesshoumaru-sama... Rin... is very sorry..."_ She got to her bare feet, cold and small and bloodied, and turned to walk away.

He lifted his hand, wanting to stop her, but found himself collapsing forward from fatigue and heavy heart and many, many other things that he did not have the courage to tell her. Tenseiga was so silent, too.

In his dreamless sleep, he saw a crying baby and that image pulled at his heart so very hard.

* * *

Go figure about that crying baby. :P 

I won't say more; the next chapter will be the last and there'll be no sequels or epilouge or whatever. Chapter 10 will be the end.

Reviews are much appreciated. I love them, I live on them, they are oxygen to me. So c'mon, send a review to me. :D


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10: And that was how their tale came to an End.**

* * *

_"She should have died hereafter;  
There would have been a time for such a word.  
To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,  
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day  
To the last syllable of recorded time,  
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools  
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!  
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player  
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage  
And then is heard no more: it is a tale  
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,  
Signifying nothing."_

- Macbeth's soliloquy, excerpt from William Shakespeare's 'Macbeth'.

* * *

"You see, he's already half-gone," Naraku hovered behind Kagome and let out a small triumphant smile. 

She stood like a thin, strong bamboo, unwavering and deep-rooted as her gray-filled eyes followed the movements of her love.

Sesshoumaru walked around in circles as he followed a very solid-form of Rin who was wearing a pure white yukata with the right panel over her left and her small bare feet decked in straw sandals. Her skin looked so luminous, and under the wane moonlight, her yukata glimmered like precious pearls. There was a white chrysanthemum on her head of long black hair and Rin was smiling, ever so happily as Sesshoumaru continued to talk to her, oblivious to the fact she was no longer alive and human.

Kagome thought that Rin never looked prettier before, and she knew that it was because she could walk beside her lord.

She rested her hand on her slightly swollen belly, and thought of the times that he had smiled like that to her, the way he would tilt his head to her when she spoke, and the warmth in his kisses and embraces.

Rin stole a side glance at the miko and when their eyes met for that instant, she silently snarled like a possessive cat.

Kagome took in a deep breath and closed her eyes while Naraku blew hiside glance at the miko and when their eyes met for that instant, she silently snarled like a possessive cat.

Kagome took in a deep breath and closed her eyes while Naraku blew his question across the back of her neck.

"Have you made up your mind? It's your life or his."

She drew in her lower lip and nodded her head.

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"Rin, where are we going?" Sesshoumaru found it slightly comical, now that he was asking the very same question that she used to ask him everytime they left for somewhere. It irked him to no end then, the way she would follow him around like a pathetic stray.

Rin lifted her sweet face and smiled sadly at him, "Sesshoumaru-sama, do you remember the time when I'd cut my knee?"

His question lost to the cold autumn night breeze, he nodded his head, "Ah, you cried so loud then."

She hooked her arm into his like a little concubine but he did not resist; he would give in to his Rin from now on, as much as possible. He had to make up for so much, that he wondered whether one lifetime was enough. And if not, what should he do?

"Don't tease me my lord! Rin was so scared and in pain then... but it is nothing compared to now..."

His eyebrows creased and he stopped in his tracks as he looked down at her with a lost look on his face, "Now...?"

She urged him forward, not wanting to stop their _journey _and continued, "Hn, Rin is afraid, still afraid..."

"Of what?" He followed her, obediently and willingly. She had fallen off Ah-Un then, scraping her knee against the thick scales on the beast but there were no angry beasts around and she was bigger now.

Her black eyes narrowed slightly, "Why, of losing you my lord. That is Rin's greatest fear..."

Sesshoumaru halted again, this time turning his ward to face him as his frown deepened, "Rin, do not speak of such nonsense. You will not leave me, ever again. Understand?"

Rin looked up, her moistened eyes shimmering ever so softly under the autumn moon, "Really? You will not lie to Rin?"

He merely nodded his head while her questioning gaze stayed.

_Rin is so sorry, Sesshoumaru-sama, Rin is so sorry... _

But something did not seem quite right; it was as if his brain was split into two and only one half was with him now, so Sesshoumaru asked again, "Rin, where are we going?"

She did not answer, and urged him to move forward while she led like a good guide. In circles and circles, smaller and smaller, they would reach their destination, forever bound together in love and pain, under the shackles of sin and hatred.

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Kagome fell to her knees, the fallen maple leaves crushed under her weight yet Sesshoumaru could not hear anything. His face was so full of different expressions, changing from one to another that for a moment, she was amazed that he was so relaxed with the dead Rin.

_Perhaps he's slowly shedding his guilt and regrets while Rin relives through his presence,_ she thought sadly and wondered whether Inuyasha would wait for her at the other End if her plan did not work. She thought of the little boats that carried bits of her and _him_, and wondered again what would the other End look like.

A paradise, perhaps? Would Miroku, Sango, Shippou and Kirara wait for her too?

Kagome shook off the thoughts as Naraku crouched behind her and raised his dagger, his body pressing against hers while he let out a maniacal laugh, "Mine, mine, mine!"

She wanted to vomit, at the physical proximity of their human bodies, but did nothing while she concentrated all her spiritual energies to her hands. Naraku drew himself back and took aim at the back of her left shoulder where he knew the jewel was buried deep within. He had planned this for so long that it almost seemed dream-like now that everything was going to come to a fulfilling end. He could not refrain from smiling as the spidery-scar on his back grew larger and more life-like, darker and redder, spreading to the sides and over his shoulders while he raised the dagger up-

She spun around, caught his wrist by sheer surprise and taking advantage of his strength, pivoted the sharp blade around and drove it deep into his body while she turned her face away and screamed as the pink light from her hands flowed down the dagger.

Kagome could feel warm blood splashing onto her right cheek and he was struggling, ever so hard while she held onto the dagger as tightly as possible. When she turned her face back to Naraku, the dagger was embedded right into his gaping throat and blood, his thick red sticky blood coated her hands like a pair of snug, winter gloves.

It was then she realized that she was a sinner, as much as Sesshoumaru and everyone else.

She had only wanted to injure him, but there was not much time left now for silly childish things like repenting. Leaving Naraku behind as he gurgled and convulsed and twitched uncontrollably, she ran as fast as she could to them but there was now a wind, raised by the Unknown and high and strong and her mind flipped backwards to the time when she had seen the exact same thing.

Only that _she_ was Kikyou and _he_ was Inuyasha.

Her heart was struck with such sudden old pain, that Kagome took a step backwards and breathed heavily, "No... it's not supposed to be like this..."

Sesshoumaru's face was buried into Rin's bosom, as his arms hung loose by the side and hers tightly wrapped around his shoulders. Tears, _now that she was going down to her own world_, rolled down her death-white cheeks while she looked despondently back at Kagome. Was Kikyou sad too, that she could not withhold her love and hatred for Inuyasha? That no matter how hard she tried, she still wanted to drag Inuyasha down to Hell with her? Did Kikyou spare a thought for Inuyasha and his well-being?

_"Rin is sorry, Kagome-sama, Rin is sorry..." _

She heard it; loud and clear and _her_ dead voice tinkled in her ears. Kagome snapped out from her wretched reverie and ignoring all the warning bells that rang in her head, dashed for the clearing as the earth started to open up; like the yawning mouth of the dead fish, like the dried-out bottom of the Bone Eater's Well, like the unfilled black pit in her heart-

"No Rin! I can give you something! Tell me, tell me!" Kagome shouted through the howling, angry winds, determined to rescue Sesshoumaru just like she had Inuyasha back then. That was the purpose, why Fate had brought her back, right?

Rin momentarily stopped, the winds calming down a bit yet the hole in the earth did not get smaller, "Something..."

Kagome's eyes were fixed on Sesshoumaru, who was as dead as he could be while Rin pondered like a little girl.

"Yes, Rin, anything! Sesshoumaru, wake up!"

But he did not respond, and half of his lower torso was already buried within the barren, dead mud.

"A life for a life, Kagome. His life for my life..." Rin whispered.

Kagome frowned a little; what was she asking for? And then the answer struck her mind like lightning, and she could no longer could hear the howling of the winds, nor her worry and anxiety that were just hammering in her ears. She pressed her bloodied hand hard against her belly; she could hear the faint heartbeats of her child, fluttering like the wings of a newborn bird.

"I want your son, Kagome, he'll replace Sesshoumaru for me," Rin let out a twisted, crazed smile at the miko.

She never knew that her child was a boy.

Kagome looked down, at her stained miko haori, at the red palm print over her belly and wondered what name Sesshoumaru would give him if he knew. Would he look like his father, would he have her unruly hair? How would his laughter sound like?

"Kagome," Rin's tone was urgent while she clung on to her youkai lord like leech.

The miko looked up, dazedly and smiled at Sesshoumaru, who was sleeping as silently and peacefully as a contented baby.

And she nodded while tears filled up her eyes.

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The winds instantly died down and before Kagome blacked out, she saw a genuine, relieved smile on Rin's face who vanished into the morning light, the way stars fade out as the sun rose over the horizon.

When Sesshoumaru found himself, still human and holding onto a lone white chrysanthemum, crushed but still fresh in his right palm, the wheels in his mind started to turn, slowly but surely. The vague remembrance of Rin talking, crying and hugging him came back as he dazedly stared at the very-dead white flower.

Then when he saw Kagome, unconscious on the ground with dried salt trails on her face, he crawled to her as fast as his weak legs could and placed a hand on her hip-

It was wet, and very sticky.

He lifted his hand as quivering lips parted at his horrifically stained palm and things clicked in his head. His Kagome had a miscarriage, Rin had taken his child, and he was the cause of it. Eyes sweeping over her blood-soaked hakamas, which had now turned into a darker, angrier shade of red, he wept at how wrong things had gone and at how both women had suffered for his folly.

And wept, and wept for their unborn child and everything else that would slowly consume him and her, inside out.

Thus it ends, their tale of sound and fury, culminating to nothing but endless emptiness and pain.

* * *

I'm sorry for such an ending, but it just seems to me that this would be the eventual way to go. In japanese customs, a deceased person would wear a white kimono, with the right folded over the left, along with sandals and 6 coins in order to cross the river to the otherworld. But I've omitted out the 6 coins since they were not needed for Rin's case; she's already dead. 

In asian cultures, white chrysanthemums are adorned on deceased's hair or used as offerings.

And that's all, this is the ending. Don't hate me. All my love goes out to Parsnip (for beta-ing and reading through this like her baby) and those who read this and/or reviewed. :) I love you all!


End file.
